-> COVER -> G21 AFRICA
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It infuriates us how they seem to just lounge on street corners and laugh the whole day; how they close their shops every afternoon to sit under coconut trees and gossip, moving only to follow the shadow of the tree; how they just shrug their shoulders nonchalantly when chaos comes their way.
Their in-your-face sexual confidence makes us feel like prudes. They speak Swahili, like we do, but for them conversation is the highest literary form. No cliches allowed, your imagery must be original, and interesting. Never repeat a simile. You are allowed to embellish the truth, insult your audience, be laviscious, even pretend to start a fight to spice up the conversation.
Just never be boring (like people from up-country are).
The Mombasa jeer is calculated to reduce you to jelly. The Mombasa sneer melts the jelly, and you will just ooze away. We up-country folk tend to be very quiet at the coast. Or we just stick to English. Its safer.
What we love about the Coast is that it reminds us of simpler days. Days when we had time to talk -- not just to exchange small-talk. It makes us feel that we have eaten a bit too much of Europe.
There are generally two ways to avoid ridicule in Mombasa.
The first is to pretend to be from the Coast. With dedication, and a lot of practice, you could get it right. But you will have to keep your practice sessions a secret. Nobody in Mombasa is afraid to laugh at you -- out loud -- if they spot your attempts.
The second option is to pretend to be a foreigner -- from Uganda, South Africa, Upper Azania, anywhere. The Coast has a long trading history, and foreigners are adored.
If you're considered a foreigner, your attempts to speak cliché ridden Swahili will be loudly, and earnestly applauded. Women will not look at you slowly from head to toe and sneer. They will giggle and wrap you in a veil of charm. They will find out what goodies you brought, whether you are married or not, and whether you have dollars. They will find out what the weather is like in your country, whether jobs are available and how visas can be acquired.The Coast is full of Germans and Swiss who came for two weeks and ended up married. They wander about wrapped in kikois and a sexual haze.
I was once told a story about Mzee Kenyatta's (Kenya's first president) first visit to Kwale District at the Coast. He met with people and asked, "How come you are so poor? This is a fertile place. How can we help you?"
They looked up at him and replied, "Mzee, Father of our Nation. We believe in development. We believe in progress. We want to develop Kwale. The problem is that it is very hot here. We don't want to ruin our hands. You see we use henna on our hands, and digging will spoil it. So we ask for tractors. If you give us tractors, we will develop Kwale."
Kenyatta looked at them for a long time, saw the elaborate decorations of henna on their soft hands, and arms; saw the Gold jewellery and the charmimg smiles. Then he said, "I see. Well, we must develop the Nation. If you want tractors, I will bring Kenya's best tractors here."
The women sang and danced around him. They composed musical praise poems (shahiri). They surrounded him with perfume and gratitude.
Two weeks later, several bakkie-loads of Kikuyu farmers were delivered from up-country. Two years later, Kwale was supplying Mombasa with fresh vegetables.
They got their tractors.
After wit, the Coast province is best known in Kenya for its food. When I was a child, we would go to the Coast every December. My late mother had a Swahili friend, Mama Shimshad, who was the senior wife of a wealthy Swahili merchant. We would always spend a day at her house while my Dad dug up Golf Courses. Cooking would take place for the better part of the day. The kitchen was situated in a walled-courtyard at the back of the house. The kids would play, while the women ground, pounded, mixed, stirred and gossiped.
While cooking for the main meal went on, we ate continuously. We would be plied with sweetmeats, cashew nuts, enormous mangos sprinkled with peri peri, cassava crisps, lime juice, coconut voetkooks (mandazis), sweet and sour baobab seeds (mabuyu), and peanut and caramel candy. I would always have a pronounced waddle when I went back home.
Mama Shimshad and her co-wives would wear khangas -- our national wraparound. Every Khanga has a slogan or a wise-saying. I saw an odd khanga in Cape Town once. The slogan read, " The goat has eaten the carpet."
We would be told stories about genies, strange sea creatures and ghosts of Portuguese sailers trapped for eternity by the wiles of Swahili concubines. We would hear about black cats that prowled the streets at night looking for randy men to seduce. They would turn into beautiful women, and occupy the men's souls.
Mama Shimshad would take us into the Old Town in the afternoon, and my late mother would spend hours haggling and buying fabrics, spices and Objets de Mantelpiece. I loved to wander around the Old Town on my own. I would lose myself in the narrow streets, harass antique store owners by ransacking their stores for 2 shilling treasures and 1 shilling books. I would safely join street-corner conversations. Nobody would make a child feel uncomfortable.
I learnt a lot about human nature on holiday at the Coast. Many of my school-mates disliked the place, or never left the North Coast resorts, where the only locals were polite Hotel employees.
I learned that the greatest pleasure in travelling is allowing yourself to be vulnerable to the cultural differences. This is the only way to see people as they are, and that is more interesting to me than any beach.
The monsoons have blown many influences onto the Kenya Coast for the last 4000 years. In 800 A.D., the Shirazi people of Persia introduced Islam to the East African Coast. A thosand years later, the Sultanate of Oman moved its capital to Mombasa.
Swahili cuisine today is a melange of African, Middle-Eastern and Indian cuisine. Zanzibar is a puff of wind away, and its spices, together with the fresh ingredients of the tropical Coast form the basis of Swahili Cuisine.
The range of seafood at the Coast is quite spectacular. Rock Lobster, oysters, Tiger Prawns, squid, octopus, shark, rock cod, sea bream, grey mullet, crab, sailfish, tuna and so on.
Much of the food is grilled, baked in leaves-or fried in a karai-a Kenyan version of the wok.
Plantains, yams, okra, cassava, various wild greens, spinach and brinjals are also eaten. Coconut milk is used in most dishes. It tends to give the curries a creamy texture. Pishori Rice, originally from Pakistan- and Chapatis (roti) are the staple dishes.
RECIPES
COCONUT MILK1st Press
Split coconut in half, remove coconut water and set aside.
Remove flesh from shell, and grate finely. You can use a blender. Place grated coconut into cheesecloth, and twist as hard as possible to squeeze out the milk.
Open cloth, pour coconut water inside, and repeat the process.
2nd Press
Place the remaining grated coconut in a bowl, and pour a little boiling water on it.
Repeat the process.
This milk will be weaker, and is good for curries and sauces.
COCONUT SPINACH
(Serves four)
Ingredients
2 tbsp vegetable oil
30 grams onions, finely chopped
50 grams ginger, fresh, chopped
1/4 chili, seeded and chopped
125 grams coconut milk - first press
1 pinch salt
1/2 kg spinach, stalks removed, washed and torn into large chunks.
Preparation
Heat oil in a stewing pan, add onions, chilies, and ginger. Fry briskly.
Add coconut milk and bring everything to the boil.
Add spinach leaves and salt. Cover, and Simmer for 5 minutes.
CRAYFISH IN COCONT TUMERIC SAUCE
(Serves 4)
Ingredients
4 large Crayfish
30 g butter
1 bunch fresh dhania (coriander leaves)
Salt
Pinch of freshly-milled black pepper
COCONUT TUMERIC SAUCE
Ingredients
20 grams garlic, crushed
5 grams ginger, peeled and grated
2 cardamom seeds, crushed
1/2 teaspoon tumeric powder
1/2 a chili, pounded in mortar till pastelike
30 grams fresh corainder leaves, finely chopped
30 grams butter
500 mls first press coconut milk (if lazy, buy coconut cream)
60 grams onions, chopped
1 pinch salt
Black pepper
Preparation
Heat butter, glaze onions, add tumeric, the garlic, ginger, chili, cardamom seeds, corainder leaves.
Cook items gently at low heat for five minutes.
Add salt, pepper, coconut milk and simmer for 20 minutes.
Serve with steamed rice, coconut spinach, roasted sweet potatos and tomato and onion salsa.
SWAHILI BRAISED CHICKEN
(Serves four)
Ingredients
1 large chicken ( 2 breasts, 2 legs)
2 tbsp oil
15 g garlic, crushed
15 g fresh ginger, grated
2 tomatos, sliced
1 green pepper, seeded, sliced
I medium onion, chopped
The juice of two limes
400 mls coconut milk (1st press)
Salt
Black pepper
Preparation
Blend garlic, ginger, tomatos, pepper, onions and lime juice until fine.
Skin chicken, season with salt and pepper. Brush with oil, and grill on a charcoal grill until crisp and brown on all sides.
Put a sauce pan on the grill (find a place where the heat is low), pour in remaining oil, and fry the pounded mix. Then, add the coconut milk and simmer together for 10 minutes. Place the grilled chicken pieces in the sauce, bring back to boiling point. Simmer, till the chicken is cooked through. Serve with Rice or rotis.