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Berkeley, CA, USA - It's time for some gringo to read between the lines and call a spade a spade in this election morass. It might as well be me: The 2004 Presidential was a big, deep, huge, well-orchestrated fix. Former President Jimmy Carter noted in a Washington Post op-ed recently that he observed more forthright elections while monitoring the process in 3rd World countries than what he saw in Florida and Ohio this year. Now that it's happened twice, this leaves the civilized sector of the United States with two choices: revolution or secession.
Last time around we was robbed plain and simple after a month of Supreme Court (SC) Sundays. Florida sued in the SC to argue that not all their votes should be counted and the Republican majority bought it. During that month of Sundays, I proposed a series of state secessions beginning right here in California. But hey, Texas has talked about secession since they were admitted to the Union, so why not them? Better yet, let Texas and Florida go their own way and we'll keep the remaining 48 intact. That's option #1.
The American Bicentennial began on July 4, 1976, with a series of parties, regattas, concerts and fireworks all over the country. Mick Jagger offered the most appropriate good wishes for that day. The Stones had played a memorable concert at the Liberty Bowl in Memphis. After the last encore, Mick grabbed a microphone off stage and said to the crowd: "Congratulations on the anniversary of your revolution, America; and good luck on your next one!" Looks like Mick was 29 years early on that one.
Who says conspiracy theories are for losers? It depends on what you mean by winning and losing. What do you mean by conspiracy? If nothing else, Bill Clinton taught us to carefully define our terms. When you're involved with such a challenging woman as Hillary, you damn well better know what "is" is and make sure your understanding is clear from day to day.
Considering the massively successful get-out-the-vote efforts on the part of unions, black organizations, MoveOn.org and similar websites, we know that there were at least 3 million NEW voters this time around. The overwhelming majority of new voters were motivated to register for the 1st time in their lives by the alarming performance of Bush Jr.:
They didn't break a lifelong pattern of political apathy to endorse the war in Iraq or rally for tax cuts they will never see.
- a bad war built on mendacity,
- a bad economy getting worse from a steady diet of program-starving tax-cuts, and
- a foreign policy that squandered the goodwill and sympathy of the entire world after 9/11.
Couple that with the vast number of lifelong Republicans who abandoned Bush Jr. this time around. I look at certain family members of mine as an index of national sentiment. They are committed Republicans and made a painful decision to not vote Republican in the presidential race for the 1st time in their lives. The former Republicans in my family are too smart to buy into the lies about the lies about the lies. My grandmother (of blessed memory) abandoned Reagan during his re-election campaign after he stole her social security because she wanted to continue working. Now, a younger generation of my family members are quitting the Republican Party. (We have the full spectrum of political sentiments in our family. I represent one end; my Uncle Mel Sembler, Bush Jr.'s ambassador to Italy, is on the other. I live in Berkeley, CA, and write left-leaning humor and commentary on the Internet; Uncle Mel is a successful Florida developer who has raised millions for all 3 Bushes, even before The Birdcage was made.)
It's time to break up the old US of A into a series of confederations. Let's face it. It was a great run, but it's not working anymore. Bush Jr.'s legacy will have been to break up the old Union that Abe Lincoln worked so hard to preserve. "A uniter, not a divider?" I don't think so. Never has one person(ality) caused so much divisiveness in a civilized country.
What we're about to experience is the re-confederation of America. No, not pre-Civil War style, but kind of like the Balkans before, well ... you know. People in California have advocated it for years, what with our economy being the 5th largest in the world. We have a sizeable share of the American military, a self-sustaining agricultural economy and lots of water. So what do we need with the rest you? We could seal off the borders for a few days, stake claim to all the military bases, utilities and financial institutions, and we have our own country the size . . . of California.
Texas didn't want to join the Union in the first place. Undercurrents of secession have always run as strong in the Texas legislature as Texas chauvinism. Let'em, I say. They can have Bush as their President and have their own country. Then they can declare a time limit on all the elections they want and redistrict themselves every year if they want to. Tom Delay can replace Dick Cheney once Bush Jr. finally learns the ropes.
New York claims to be the center of the Universe anyway, (when everyone knows it's really Ann Arbor) so they'll do just fine, maybe hooking up with Jersey and Connecticut to keep the commute simple. Going through Customs when you're already late for work contributes to the kind of road rage that carries over to the workplace. So let's not.
Some of the Great Lakes states have entered discussion to become Canadian provinces and people in Michigan's Upper Peninsula think they're Canuks anyway, so they might as well be. The Lower Peninsula will stay in the Confederation so the football rivalries won't be disturbed. University of Michigan vs.Wilfred Lauriet just doesn't make the average football fan salivate.
Florida has become an embarrassment: taking black people off the registered voter list, using state troopers to stop others on the way to the polls; allowing Republican operatives to "correct" absentee ballot applications. Last time around their inability to run a fair and clean election held up a presidential decision for the first time since 1876. So they should be punished. Expulsion from the Union, I say. They can have a war with Cuba and let off a lot of steam. Then, if Jeb Bush can get away from his new sugarcane plantations long enough to boink Katherine Harris, they can have their own cigar and g-string scandal, just like the big boys and girls. Only the characters won't be as wholesome.
The rest of the states could organize co-ops along the lines of major college sports conferences. Certain SEC states could fly the stars and bars again if they so choose, though we take a dim view of such sentiments. The Big 10 states can organize a Great Lakes maritime monopoly.
Minnesota, the Dakotas, and Montana have the same weather as Canada anyway, so we could trade Ottawa for those states in exchange for the parts of Ontario and Quebec that Americans like to visit. I know we're trading Mt. Rushmore for Niagara Falls but this is the 21st Century and it's a brave new world out here -- Get used to it!
Come to think of it, Texas was originally a Mexican province. Do you think? . . . Naaaa, Poppa Bush would never go for it. He doesn't love his "little brown ones" THAT much.
Now don't anyone get excited and try to charge me with sedition. I'm not advocating any particular ideology or agenda. I'm not advocating the overthrow of the federal government; its just that this USA thing isn't working anymore, so we might as well make preparations. It was a great run, but the Republicans in Florida and Texas loused it up and now it's over. So don't blame me.
We've still got the Constitution to serve as a legal and governmental spine for the Confederated States. And FedEx and UPS will still be in business, even if the Postal Service won't know what to do when all the spam hits the fan.
So it's nothing to get bent out of shape over, just part of the New World Order, that's all. You know, the one controlled by a consortium of Jewish Bankers, Texas Oilmen, Georgia Real Estate Tycoons and Lena Wertmueller's film students. The usual suspects.
So hold on to those old stars and stripes; they'll be worth something someday.
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