On the other hand, being too arrogant, too pushy, too egotistical, too much in your face and too busy using your television show as a soapbox is something I understand perfectly. Ellen became so windy and didactic that it became a lesbian version of William Bennett's Book of Virtues. DeGeneres confused her notoriety with importance and viewed herself as some kind of dyke sky pilot imparting her sermons to the heretics.

Seinfeld had the good sense to pull the plug on his show as the signs of advancing old age were beginning to creep into the show. Even for a show that celebrated not being about anything, there was a sense of recycled ideas and failed bits creeping into the proceedings. Rather than hang on a season too long, like a quarterback with a shot arm who can't zip the ball down field any longer, Seinfeld decided to drop the curtain himself before everyone started grousing about how good the show used to be.

But if Seinfeld went out a winner, Ellen departs as America's biggest whiner. "Nobody likes me because I'm too gay! Waah! Waahh!!"

How nice it is to have a ready excuse for all one's failures.

Blacks can fall back on racism. Women can write it off as sexism. White men can blame it on other groups not working as hard as they do. Lesbian comedians can lay it at the feet of homophobia.

The only problem with playing the race/sexism/jealousy/homophobia cards is using them too frequently becomes like the boy who cries "wolf" one time too many. When it is to be believed and when it is to be ignored?

Hey Ellen! Get a clue, girlfriend. Personally, I never dug your twitchy, nervous brand of comedy. It made me think of a blonde Bob Newhart with PMS, but hey, maybe it's just me. What I don't buy is the suggestion that not digging Ellen DeGeneres makes you some kind of gay-bashing creep. That theory shifts the responsibility off Ellen to come up with...umm.. actual jokes for her show instead of draggy political diatribes better suited for C-Span than a dumb ass sitcom.

All Ellen the show and DeGeneres the person proved was that without good writing, snappy dialogue and even the barest hint of actual comedic ability, all she had to fall back upon was being America's favorite dyke and that wasn't enough. It wasn't that viewers wanted Ellen back in the closet; all the slobs at home wanted were a lot less hanging and bleeding on a cross. Instead what DeGeneres dished out was political propaganda far worthier of C-SPAN than prime time gigglefests. Certainly Ellen broke some new ground by being a openly lesbian character, but after all the false starts, teasing come-ons and generally nerve-wearing build-up to the big Coming Out party, after it was all over there was no place for the show to go.

It is irrelevant to me how happy or deeply in love, DeGeneres and gal pal, Anne Heche are. No matter how many photos they appear in swapping spit, holding hands or gazing dreamily into each other's eyes, I still won't care. Their public displays of affection seem so forced and stagy that instead of making a bold statement of Sapphic love, it only enforces the notion that if you're a celebrity everything is permissible.

For far too many lesbians, the simple physical act of holding hands in public can be a threat to both life and limb. Breathing the rarefied air of Hollywood limos, I'd be surprised if DeGeneres and Heche appreciate how much courage it takes to be "out" in the open --- without the shield of celebrity to protect --- for the typical lesbian couple.

For all of her petulant grousing, DeGeneres should come to accept what [many] Blacks already have come to learn. Placing the emphasis upon your unique status (be it racial group or sexual orientation) may capture the audience's attention for a time, but after the initial wave of interest passes, what do you do for a follow-up?