Event #153: IN THE TIME OF TRIAL
LAST WEEK's EDITION
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Event #153: IN THE TIME OF TRIAL
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It took me a while but I finally think I've got this impeachment thing figured out. It's not about sex (like the Democrats say) or about lying under oath and witness tampering (like the Republicans say). It's about hate. The virulent, relentless and all consuming hatred that burns like a bad burritto in the gut of Tom DeLay, Henry Hyde, Trent Lott, Bob Barr and other right-wingers toward President Clinton.
For the Democrats the same holds true; most of them don't like Clinton much, either, and wouldn't want him to date their daughters , but the idea of allowing the Republican ayatollahs of the House to get Clinton rubs them the wrong way.
Republicans started beating the snot out of Democrats when they offered new ideas (notice I didn't say good ideas) and all the Dems had to offer were variations on the New Deal/Great Society.
No thanks, the voters said and turned over control of Congress to the Republicans putting the Democrats in the unfamilar role of the "loyal opposition."
So what happened? Clinton got in bed with the Republicans and rammed welfare "reform" and other conservative wish list items into law and back to the states. Most of the time the Dems stood over in a corner pouting like a kid nobody wants to play with and tried to recall how to wage political battles when you don't have the votes to win. The issue of impeachment and the ham-fisted handling of it by House Republicans presented Democrats with a chance to stand up and snarl like pit bulls instead of the neutered poodles they had become after Newt and company slapped them into silence.
Yeah, a little late for those of us who were waiting for a demonstration of will from the Democrats when the G.O.P. bum-rushed the Contract With America through the House with nary a peep of protest. Defending the tarnished honor of Bill Clinton is a job few Democrats take up with any enthusiasm, but if it provides a forum for them to display a bit of backbone [that's a good thing.] If saving Clinton's sorry butt revives a flicker of liberalism in the Democrats, that would be better than watching them present themselves as a Republican Lite version of the GOP.
When the House dumped their load of impeachment garbage on the floor of the Senate, only a few diehard Clinton haters greeted the mess with any zeal. When guys like Senator Richard Shelby, R-Alabama, a turncoat Democrat and no fan of Clinton says, "I don't believe we need any more information, unless they can show us it will be a new dynamic that could change the trial," that's like smoke coming from a conference of cardinals choosing a new pope. The old white guys running the Senate are telling Hyde and his House managers From Hell, "nice presentation guys, loved the charts and all----we've got some lovely parting gifts if you'll just step this way."
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Unless the House managers find a videotape of Clinton burying Jimmy Hoffa, the Comeback Kid can chalk up narrow escape.
The true "Clinton must be hunted down and skinned alive"acolytes like Reps. Bill McCollum, James Sensenbrenner, Charles Canady, and Barr don't give a damn if the votes are there or not. The man behind our spanking new, bland-as-toast Speaker of the House Denny Hastert, goes by the nickname of "the Hammer" and Tom DeLay doesn't simply dislike Clinton, he loathes him with a passion. In the mind of DeLay, Clinton must not only be deposed, he must be humiliated, debased and castrated so he no longer pollute the gene pool.
A not-so-silent partner in this charade is our well trained, corporate controlled news media. Not a Sunday goes by without some asshole politician looking grave and serious on Meet the Press and The Sam and Cokie Circle Jerk as they protest their dismay over how children have their delicate psyches damaged by the sordid frollicking of the Commander-In-Chief.
Meanwhile, when have you seen similar outrage from Tim Russert or Tony Snow's self-rightous invective over Senator Lott and Rep. Barr playing footsie with openly racist organizations like the white supremacist Council of Conservative Citizens? What's more dangerous----a president engaged in sex games with interns in thong underwear or the Senate Majority Leader giving aid and comfort to bigots?
The way the New York Times and other so-called "liberal" news media elites play the story it's a bigger sin to enjoy a blowjob than to hang out with hate groups.
However, if I had a vote I'd oppose ending the Senate show trial. Certainly this is keeping the 100 wise men and women from addressing more important issues of the day, but it's kind of fun in a sick way to watch 96-year-old Strom Thurmond and his weird orange hair. Don't you wonder if Ted Kennedy ever sneaks up behind ol' Strom and yells, "BOO!"
In Hollywood, movies with downbeat endings and unsympathetic characters rarely score well with test audiences. The public has been trained to relate to happy endings where the hero sobers up, patches his marriage back together, rides to the rescue and kicks the bad guy's ass in the last five minutes. The impeachment of Bill Clinton will never make it as a feature film because the story gives us no one to cheer for. It's a battle between bad guys and worse guys. If Clinton isn't the scumbag that Ken Starr makes him out to be, neither is he pure as new fallen snow.
But if it's hard to cheer Clinton, it's impossible to see the large majority of Republicans clamoring for his scalp as anything but a lynch mob. Their fervor to continue flailing away at Clinton's politically impotent body seems like overkill. "You've impeached me already, suckers," Clinton seems to be saying, "But you can't kill me and I won't die." What drives the GOP and their water carriers in the press nuts is the more they hate Clinton the higher his poll numbers go up. Could it be that despite the fact he believes in almost nothing and only takes a stand after a poll indicates it's safe, Clinton hasn't been as horrible a Chief Executive as the Beltway Barons say?
There's a country song that goes something like, "how can I miss you when you won't go away?" The public keeps saying over and over that while Clinton is a bum for his cheatin' heart, as a president he's not good, but he's not all that bad. That leaves the Republicans talkin' loud and sayin' nothing. If they were as smart as they are mean, nasty and vindictive they would find the most graceful, face-saving solution to this sideshow and close it down. I'm of the belief they aren't that smart.
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