MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents"
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MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents" |
| MY GLASS HOUSE | THE PREVIOUS EVENT | THE NEXT EVENT | THE WRITERS/GUIDELINES | |
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR - I been trying to lay in the cut ever since Rod, our PubMan, fled the Left Coast and went back to his so-called roots. But when I read here how my man Wolf DeVoon is getting led into the tender trap, I felt it was about time I spoke up.
After all, sortah-kindah as a joke, some of ya'll will recall that I tried to do the same thang a couple years back. You saw what happened to me.
Lookahere, Wolf, has Rod already told you that little story of his about being Zeus on Mt. Olympus? Yeah, I thought so.
You know why old Zeus could stay up on Mt. Olympus, don't you? 'Cause he had them damned thunderbolts. One day you look around and you staring at your skeleton glowing outtah your body like flourescent lights!
Picture this: I'm walking down the street one day and all of a sudden I hear this booming voice, like it's comin' out of the sky:
"AND YOU WANNAH DO WHAT?"
Next thing I know there's a clap of thunder and I'm flying through the air smoking like burnt toast.
"YOU BETTER ASK SOMEBODY!!!" the voice comes and I'm tryna disentangle by narrow ass from a tree limp.
What I'ma tryna say here Wolfman is you better be careful what you wish for.
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Rodman will seem all nicey-nice when he's tellin' you how easy it will be to run this here magazine. Then, all of a sudden, he'll pull one of them thangs out of his trick-bag. And this niggah got more tricks than a thousand dollar 'ho!
Remember when he suddenly started doin' this damned rag daily? Just to show that he could?
Anybody else wouldah fell over from exhaustion, but not this mofo! He laughed in all of our faces and pushed circulation up in the process. I wanted to shoot the ass-hole he ran over us so hard!
And, listen, Mr. Editor-in-Waiting, that's the kindah shit that is waiting for you. You have been warned.
Just when you think, "Oh yeah, Rod's 'round the corner busy on something else" is when he's likely to be up in your ass.
And don't wait around for him to start getting Medieval on your ass!
You look up and he's comin' toward you and quoting William Blake. You can be back-stepping as fast as Michael Jackson and it ain't fast enough! Next thing you know he's reaching down with one hand and bringing up Vengeance. Reach down with the other hand and bring up Retribution!
That's when you better be looking 'round for the damned EXIT!
Here's the worst part:
If you be like me, you take off runnin'. But
- You run to the bottom of the ocean: HE'S THERE! He turns into the damned Submariner!
- You go up on the mountain top: HE'S THERE!
- You decide maybe to find a stone wall you can hide behind? Forget it!
- He's so high you can't get over him, so low you can't get under him, so wide you can't get around him. HE'S EVERYWHERE!
- And he's on your ass.
Now, Wolf, I likes you. That's why I'm telling you about what happened to me.
You may probably have noticed I been quiet these last few months. Laying in the cut.
But I hate to see a good man step into the meat grinder not knowing what to expect.
The PubMan? He comes from some planet most of us would prefer not to visit. I know that for a fact. Now you know, too.
Be careful what you wish for.... Real careful.
I wish you nothing but the best, my man. Step up. But come strong.
Otherwise, it's yo' ass.
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