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KIDS ON MUSIC - THESE ARE ACTUAL ANSWERS FROM STUDENTS ON MUSIC EXAMS
- The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.
- It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.
- Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines. Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
- All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.
- Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.
- Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
- A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
- Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.
- Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.
- Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.
- A harp is a nude piano.
- The main trouble with a French Horn is that it is too tangled up.
- An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.
- The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.
- Agitato is a state of mind when one's finger slips in the middle of playing a piece.
- Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you'd better not try to sing.
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- I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say.
- Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
- My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
- Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.
- Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.
- Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.
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