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RECOMMENDED DAILY REQUIREMENT

DATELINE: 28 June, 2000

Transmitted by: Gary Greenberg, USA

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Event # 221: Put ON Your Sailin' Shoes

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RDR logo.LIFE IN THE FAST LANE - I'm in a hurry for no particular reason. I seem to get this way whenever I'm in Miami. The bonehead in the left-hand turning lane in front of me has the arrow but has decided to go straight. Horns serenade him. He doesn't care. The turning arrow turns amber. The palm of my hand slams the horn, long and loud like a freight train approaching a cow crossing. It feels good even though I still miss the light.

Being in a hurry is an unusual state of mind for somebody like me, somebody who strives never to rush, even when he should. I've come to believe it's bad for the heart. But whenever I'm in Miami, I'm always in a hurry. I guess that, deep down, I just can't wait to get the heck out of Miami.
Today I have business. Sears sent me some kind of bonus coupons worth $30.57 which I've had folded up in my wallet for so long the folds are turning into tears. I want to spend them before I lose or mutilate them. So I figure to hit the Sears on my way over to pick up my son, who's at his Nana Nella's house by the airport.

It's not yet officially rush hour. But you wouldn't know it from the traffic. Though I commute about 100 miles a day, I'm not used to so many traffic lights. There are only nine between my home and work, approximately the same number there are every mile in the city.

Gary Greenberg
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I need some new clothes. A pair of slacks to wear to work, maybe shoes. Whatever I can get for 30 bucks. Sears has some nice pants on sale for $15. I try them on. The 32s are too tight in the waist and the 34s have too much room everywhere else. I don't want to waste any more time here. I grab a $12 shirt and head over to the paint department where I pick out about $18 worth of spray paint for my cosmic art projects. Arms full, I go to the counter to pay.

One young clerk is behind it. He's mixing cans of paint for a lady and her grown daughter. All three jabber away in Spanish. Though it sounded natural when I lived in Miami, it now seems rude.

The woman has an insert from a newspaper and seems to be asking the clerk about every product in it. The whole thing is taking far too long. I don't know exactly what the hold-up is because I can't understand them, or simply don't have the patience to try.

After a few minutes in which my presence isn't even acknowledged, I leave the shirt and paint on the counter and slip away.

Back on the road, traffic is heavier than before. Rush hour has officially arrived. I take the back way to my mother-in-law's house, run into problems at another left-hand turning lane. The pinhead in front of me is looking at something on his seat and doesn't realize the light has changed. I give him a move-your-butt blast. He seems startled and angrily flips me off. I make it through the light, but some of the cars behind me don't.

I'm anxious to see my son. Every light takes forever. In the old days, you only had to wait one turn. Nowadays, you have to wait three because of the left-hand turning arrows.

Finally, I get to my mother-in-law's street, make a right and have just a few blocks to go.

But what's this? A school bus has pulled up with its little stop signs sticking out. No one seems to be getting out of it.

My fingers are drumming on the wheel, right above where my father's hand wore through the leather from driving this car through its first 100,000 miles.

No one inside the bus seems to be moving. I want to honk because nothing seems to be happening.

But I don't.

Finally, I see the driver get out. Now what? She's a thin, middle-aged lady in navy slacks and light blue shirt. She walks towards the back of the bus, uses a key to open the rear side door.

It's a wheelchair lift. I moan. This could take a while. Someone in the bus finally rises to help a disabled girl to the lift. The girl has dark hair and seems to have trouble keeping her head up. A chubby shirtless kid whom I assume to be her little brother runs out of a fenced yard. He's over-anxious to help, can't stand still while the lift slowly lowers.

Mom is standing on the walk near the small house's front door. She yells to the boy in Spanish, and he steps back a pace.

The lift touches down. The little boy flips down its rail, runs behind the chair and starts pushing it as the girl helps with her hands.

As I watch this operation, I think about what this girl in the wheelchair has to go through every time she needs to go anywhere. It takes three people and a hydrolic lift a few minutes just to get her off of a school bus, something as quick as a hop, skip and jump down three stairs for other kids her age. Instead of feeling sorry for her, I feel happy that we live in a place where the people care about each other enough to go to so much trouble to make sure this girl gets the same kind of chances as other kids. And I appreciate the fact that I have the luxury of being in a hurry when I drive through Miami, because some people can never be in a hurry.

The bus driver raises the lift, closes the door and starts walking towards the front of the bus. I see a crescent of salt on her back from sitting in the driver's seat on a hot afternoon. Mom waves to the driver from the ramped doorstep of her house, then hugs the girl in the wheelchair. I feel warmed. There's a lot of love on this little side street.

For once, I'm proud of my country, my people and my species because we're in an age where people go the extra step to help those who can't take a step on their own. We're beginning to realize that no one is really any more handicapped than anyone else. We all just have different needs. It's a ray of mass enlightenment breaking through what I hope are the last days of humankind's dark ages.

Having given me my lesson for the day, the school bus pulls away. I pause for a moment to watch the little boy wheel his sister into the house as mom directs.

Someone behind me blows the horn.

I move on, but not in a hurry.


GARY GREENBERG was born and raised in the Philadelphia area. He attended Penn State University where he majored in rugby and happy hours and miraculously graduated with a journalism degree in 1976. He has been writing professionally for more than 20 years, mostly as a reporter and freelancer. During that time, he has also been a deli counterman, thoroughbred horse groom, apartment house manager, weight training instructor, house painter, freshman composition professor, drawbridge tender, import/export business manager and performance artist.

A world traveler and adventurer, Gary has a vast reservoir of mostly useless information which he draws upon to write thought-provoking and/or funny essays, a wide range of fiction, children's stories and verse, and newspaper and magazine features. Some of his writing and art can be found at his website, the Cosmic CafÈ. Gary lives in Boca Raton, Florida, with his eternally 39-year-old wife, Nora, five-year-old son, Glen, seven-year-old dog, Banyan, and a box turtle of indeterminate age named Schribner.


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