COVER -> RECOMMENDED DAILY REQUIREMENT
SEX WITH A SIDE OF COMMITMENT - "It's the forbidden, nasty aspect that makes it really good! Come on, don't tell me you have like, Super Hot Sex with your wife? Shit, this might even kick things up a notch for you."
"Actually, I think I do."
"Yeah, yeah, but you don't get that good lustful sex; you can't have lustful sex with a women you are in a long term relationship with! It's just not possible!"
"Sorry, man, but I really disagree."
"So, you don't want to go?"
"No, honestly, I have no interest in checking out the buffet."
"Well what about the dancers?"
"Like I said man, I'm not one for buffets."
It was a Friday afternoon, the phones were forwarded, the secretaries were all gone, and a male co-worker and I were sitting in the lounge/lunchroom - just shooting the breeze. I had indicated to him that I was in no hurry to join the rush-hour traffic, as my wife and kids were going to be gone until very late in the evening - Dinner Alone. I suggested to him we could retire to the new pub down the street for a cold beer before heading out.
That's when my co-worker, an pretty decent looking, lifelong bachelor in his mid-40s, started into his usual suggestion that we hop in his car and drive out to a local, legendary "strip and dinner club". Basically, from what he tells me, they have an "all you can eat" dinner buffet, and your beverages are brought to you by an either "topless" or "bottomless" waitress. (Seriously. One end or the other must be covered to comply with local ordinance).
Many of my casual acquaintances would be surprised that I, of all people, would pass on such a "feast" for the eyes; especially, considering my love of "off-color" jokes. It wasn't that the thought of eyeing the well-endowed young women who are inevitably employed at strip clubs (been there, done that) failed to interest me, or that it would rack me with terrible guilt(Oh dear, a married "nature lover" in a strip club!); it was the buffet aspect, the looming excess, both visually and gastronomically, that turned me off.
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Sometimes they had to actually kick one of these people out because they ate so much. Steaming mounds of heavy, fleshy, greasy food that would fill you up quickly; followed by miserly desserts of jello and rice pudding.
To me, "Strip Clubs" seem too much like a buffet: hungry-eyed guys, looking over a bounty of steaming "dishes", dreaming of "real fulfillment" - but no hope (or plan) for a tasteful finish.
Lustful Sex
I know my co-worker has had scores of hot looking women, but none he wanted to keep? He's got a great house, no real financial concerns, and a nice sports car with leather interior. Yet, he has to go to a strip club to eye women while he eats, probably just to end up going home alone? He often tries to mildly tease me about my "plight" of being married with children, where as I usually view his existence as pretty lonely. So this time I seriously pondered his commentary on sex: can/do people in a long term relationship still have good (lustful) Sex?It seems to me that most of what my co-worker considers good, lustful sex, is the simple willingness of his companions, the single-minded focus on the "main course", and the novelty and anticipation of some "strange stuff". For him, again using the buffet analogy, the novelty and quantity of the "main course" makes up for any shortcomings in quality, healthfulness, cleanliness or atmosphere. The fact that a "sweet finish" is a foregone conclusion , is acceptable. For sure, a buffet provides cheap, convenient sustenance, but it doesn't compare to a quality meal, or, IMHO, quality sex.
Myself, I value a "sit-down" meal even at a modest restaurant. Ordering off of a familiar menu, committing myself to one dish, knowing fully where the meal begins and ends, and finishing with a "real" dessert. Wait staff that cares enough to remember what I like, but still asking, out of a genuine desire to make my experience pleasant, "The usual, or do you want something different today?"
The million dollar question: can a man have great, lustful sex with a women he has a long term relationship with? I think so.
The emphasis is a little different: willingness and interest in the "activities" is necessary, of course, and continuous novelty is balanced against a knowledge and appreciation of how the "customer" really likes the "main course". Not as many surprises, but few offerings that make you want to say, "Ewwww!, How did this get on my bed (plate)?!"
And let's not forget the "sweet finish" of touching and talking leisurely afterwards -like a good meal.
My mother, who taught me to cook as a youngster, always said, "a meal is too valuable to be made by people who don't know how or care". I hope that someday, my single friend can appreciate that the same sentiments can honestly be applied to sex.
Dessert? Sure, let me have a Piece.
P.S. My "Special #1" is 40 this August 14th - Happy Birthday, Honey!
This week's Poll: Relationships.
RDR RECOMMENDED SITE OF THE DAY: Here's some "food for thought" from our friends at AdBusters.org on eliminating corporate charters. Enjoy!
