Thass right! Unless one of them boring stations like CBS or somebody else picks it up, Stone Cold Steve Austin, the Rock, Goldberg, will not be on national TV every week! THIS IS A GULDERN CRIME THAT YA'LL SHOULD WRITE TO YOUR CONGRESSMAN ABOUT, IF YOU CARE ABOUT TRAILER TRASH ENTERTAINMENT THE WAY I DO. And I know ya'll do.
So go down to the Post Office in yer town and pick up a postcard right away!
Tell them we don't want this Aussie bastard buyin' up the last vestiges of our God-given American heritage!!!
Do it now! You can read this Web magazine later! (This was a Trailer Trash Public Service Announcement.)
Now that I have got that outtah my system, let's get back to the Democravik National Convention, still in progress.
Al has been putting it out all over the mainstream press that he is writing his own speech, unlike the Texas Shrub who had a collaborator (read: Ghost Writer) go over his speech fifteen danged times. (Not to mention probably Poppy and the entire Bush One brain-trust.)
Now me, I gottah be thinking:
"Al, are you the dumbest goat-roper on the planet? You ever heard that danged sayin' about a lawyer defending himself in court --- as in, he's got a fool for client?"
Let me give ya'll a piece of advice, Mr. Vice-President: LET BILL CLINTON WRITE YOUR DANGED SPEECH!
I mean, no matter what ya'll might think about Dollar Bill, he's the greatest orator in America right now.
You just look at the man and you know he ENJOYS giving a speech in a room full of people! He enjoys it so much, he makes you enjoy it with him! You may hate the dog, but you gottah admit he knows how to perform on a stage.
So, lookahere, Al, you wander knock this one out of the park, let Dollar Bill write it.
Al, I gottah level with you. Here's the thing. Listening to a speech by Bill Clinton is like being invited down into the ole boy's living room. He throws the six-pack on the coffee table, turns on the football game, and just starts riffing on ya'. He makes you laugh, he makes you cry, he tells you about some folks he ran into in Punxaltawnee, Michigan, one winter. It's just warm and good, even if you don't remember a dang word that ole boy said a hour later...
Now, you, Al, so far has been like being invited down to the dungeon torture chamber so we can see the head Inquistor tighten up them thumbscrews. Wait, wait!
And here's the deal, ole son: It's make or break for you tonight.
Anybody who's fool enough to tune in will tell all their friends if you are The Man or The Also-Ran...
This week's Poll: Relationships. 
RDR RECOMMENDED SITE OF THE DAY: Here's some "food for thought" from our friends at AdBusters.org on eliminating corporate charters. Enjoy!
COVER -> RECOMMENDED DAILY REQUIREMENT
THE CIRCUS WITHOUT THE BREAD - Greetings, fellow Sanitation Engineers! Once again your ole pal, Tabloid Hart, has been asked to attempt to explain to ya'll the intricacies of the longest Presidential election season in the history of the United States. It's a thankless and futile job, as far as this ole boy is concerned, but somebody has to do it. I gave ya'll the dish on the Republicavik Party a couple weeks ago when they had their national convention, so now I have to get ya'll primed for the Democravik speech of Al Bore tonight.
