Who's That Girl...?
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The first question this psychologist asked me was, "Are you surprised that your parents are getting divorced."
I answered, "I'm surprised they actually got married in the first place."
He then followed up with, "Now you realize it's normal for adults to argue."
I answered, "Of course it's normal for people to argue, in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, at night, on vacation. If my parents didn't argue they would never talk." Not wanting to hear anymore from a smartass kid he ended the session and the mental health profession has never wanted me back again.
That is until recently. Due to the fact that I live a little over a mile from the World Trade Center I have been called by a few agencies to ask how September 11 has affected me psychologically.
I tell them that while I am extremely upset that it happened, luckily everyone I knew made it out alive and it has not affected me psychologically.
They then ask me if I'm depressed.
I tell them the only time I get depressed is when they keep asking me that question.
They then offer free psychological counseling but I tell them I don't feel I need it. I know I'm a little crazy but you have to be a little crazy to live in New York in the first place. I believe that so much I think they should put it in everyone's lease.. If you are mentally healthy go move to North Dakota.
While I don't feel I need professional help, I am finding more each day how September 11 has had a profound affect on me. On that day I had just come in from a jog when I looked out the window and saw what I thought was a building on fire. In typical New York fashion I thought, "Just a building on fire no big deal." (After all, the parking garage that's attached to my building once collapsed and I didn't even leave my building.)
Since I could only see the top of the building, which was covered by smoke, I didn't even know it was the WTC. It was not until I signed onto AOL that I saw two planes had flown into the WTC. I instantly went to my terrace to get a better view and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Ever since that day I have associated September 11 with the smoke I originally saw.
That night was even tougher because they had military jets flying overhead all night. While they were there I realized that I can't remember if I ever noticed hearing a plane in New York before that day. I live next to a parking lot and it's usually hard to hear anything other than car alarms.
Since that day, everytime I hear a low flying plane I look to see where it is to make sure it's not flying into a building. I never get to actually look out the window because by the time I get there the sound dissipates and I realize it's nothing.
I'm not usually that sensitive a person but for some strange reason, due to September 11, that's what I think of when I hear a plane. Thank God I don't live at the airport because I'd never sleep.
Until recently this was how Ii believed September 11 had affected me psychologically. That was until last week when I realized I may have been affected even further and I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.
Two days before Thanksgiving I saw smoke coming out of the roof of the new Federal Courthouse. Because of my previous experience of seeing lots of smoke, I thought this could be another terrorist attack. Once I added in "Federal" courthouse and "National Holiday" I thought it likely was. Maybe someone has set a bomb off in a building. It was just then I saw all the fire engines and police cars coming just like on September 11.
I decided to go home as soon as possible, but to get there I would have to walk past the courthouse or six blocks totally out of the way. (This is when you know you're really lazy. You walk into an area where you think the building may fall down rather than go an extra few blocks.) I actually ran by the site all the while hoping nothing would happen.
When I got home I tried to find out what actually went on but there was no news about it. They say when there's smoke there's fire but I don't know if there really was a fire because all I saw was smoke.
Even today I tried to look for this article to write about what really happened but no newspaper even bothered to report it. That's when I realized how I had psychologically changed since September 11 but for the better. Before, being a New Yorker, I wouldn't have thought twice about this incident but after I can't believe how everyone else didn't care. So what that I was wrong this time, the next time I could be right. It made me wonder if I am taking September 11 too seriously or if everyone else is not taking it seriously enough.
NEW YORK, NY, USA - I have only been to a psychologist once in my life. It was when my parent's were going through a divorce and they wanted me to talk about my problems. I felt it wasn't my problems, it was theirs, so why should I have to go see a psychologist? With that attitude it's no wonder my session didn't last five minutes.
However, recently my attitude has started to change.
WEB SITE PICK OF THE WEEK: Sometimes we like Web sites because of the information they offer more than the "coolness" of their design. That's the case with the World Health Organization site. Go check it out when you're not here.
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