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Spending Out of Debt?

DATELINE: 8 October, 2001

Transmitted by THOMAS HART, Republic of Tejas

AUSTIN, TEJAS - Down here in the Trailer Park, as we get het up for the "new kind" of (perpetual) war -- remember the war with Oceania in George Orwell's novel 1984? -- I gottah just laugh about this new type of "economic stimulus" plan our pal The Shrub has come up with: Let's Spend Our Way Out of Debt!

Yeah, I get it: give billions to the airline CEOs, make every family of any victim of the World Trade Center terrorist attack a danged millionaire (How ya'll feel about that Oklahoma City bombing bereaved?) and let's do another danged tax-cut to encourage folks back into the mall. Can you say "MASSIVE FEDERAL DEFICITS"?

It seems that, just like George the First, George the Second (a.k.a. Dubya and The Shrub) believes that a combination of huge deficits and foreign wars are the way to make America a good place to live. Now, like I said last week, I'm more than ready to see us kickin' some Afghan hiney since they won't give up international terrorist Osama bin Laden, BUT, I'm the last man in the state of Tejas to believe that any President named Bush knows what it's like to be a working stiff, let alone know how to prime the pump of a failin' American economy.

So hold onto your wallets, Pardners, we're heading for the economic equivalent of white water rapids while ridin' in a danged leaky boat.

Pardon me, folks, for being logical here for a second, but let's face a few facts:

1. We have just embarked on a protracted and expensive war.
2. No matter what mealy-mouthed politicians only concerned with they own butts are tellin' us, it's now obvious that the terrorist attack on America has succeeded in seriously -- seriously -- affecting our economy for the worse. Going shopping like there's no tomorrow ain't gonnah staunch the hemorrhaging.
3. Now would be the perfect time to show the political will to ask the American people to make the sacrafice of paying more in taxes to support the war effort and bolster our tail-spinning economy.

In short, a tax cut is just plum stupid.

But what can you expect when you've got a C student as President?

Here's some more logic: When's the last time you managed to make your own personal household budget work by spending more money while you were in debt? Give me a show of hands from those of y'all for whom this strategy has ever worked. So why would any smart person believe that what don't work in the real world of our homes is gonnah work for a durn country? Oops, I forgot, I was talking about a smart person here, not a politician.

This tax cut idea has a lot more to do with the upcoming midterm Congressional elections than it has to do with what's best for the country. I'm hoping that the smart people among y'all reading this here column will be provoked to write a letter to your Senators and Congressman and let them fools know that if they vote for this wrong-headed, pork barrel tax cut you will vote their lazy asses out of office. And that will be exactly what they deserve. We still have to wait a few years to do the same to The Shrub and elect a real President for this country.

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