So it was the radio and me.

I knew what to expect -- News, Country Music, and Christ. The big surprise: They're all the same now.

I couldn't find a decent media-evangelist anywhere. Sandwiched between Cowboys singing about camping out under the stars of Jerusalem and news about abortions performed on the White House lawn, we have slickly-produced 20-minute family morality plays. Leave It To Jesus.

One episode involved Melissa and a real dilemma. She has her clarinet lesson after school, but this week has been invited to a party at the same time. Her father asks (knowingly), "What's that bracelet on your wrist mean?"

"Oh, the one that has WWJD on it? That means 'What Would Jesus Do?'."

"So what would Jesus do, Melissa?"

Well, I thought I'd aced this one. Melissa was hemming and hawing, but I knew the answer:

Jesus would obviously go to the party. His whole routine was hanging out with sinners and trying to talk some sense into them.

Here was the perfect opportunity -- a bunch of high school girls 'partying' after school. This is where evil lives.

Plus, what would Jesus need clarinet lessons for?

I'm sure if he wanted to he could just pick up any old licorice stick (probably even a real licorice stick) and blow the livin' daylights out of it.

I missed the resolution.

During the commercial (information about ordering the bracelet), I pulled into an 'Authentic Indian Pottery Trading Post' and spent most of my time sifting through the adult videos they had way in back in a special 'tee-pee'. When I returned to the car Melissa was happily on her way to her clarinet lesson.