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The Game Behind the Bombs 6

by Rastislav Durman

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NOVI SAD - [AUTHOR'S NOTE - The following is the transcript of a telephone conversation. In this short conversation President Clinton calls NATO HQ . I know this just must have taken place. ---RD]

"What is going on in Belgium? Why [does] nobody [answer] our phone calls?"

"Sorry Mr. President, but you can't imagine what is going on around [here. ]All of us are beyond ourselves with work..."

"Don’t tell me such bullshit, I know eactly what are you doing. It is only a war, my boy, nothing [as] sophisticated as work[ing] in the Program Development for [the] President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. Give me Seanocchio..."

"Sorry, Mr. President, he is very busy [at this] moment."

"He is giving some interview again or what?"

"No, Bill, he is polishing hasps here in NATO headquarters."

"What is that? Some new cipher?"

"Well, we were thinking about object to find cipher for polishing hasps, but [the] proper officer had no time. He has to wash windows [as a replacement for the] German aviation general who is suffering from vertigo. Instead of washing windows, the general is emptying ash-bins."

"And what are you doing? Cleaning carpets?"

"No, I will clean carpets tomorrow, today I have to wash plates..."

"I know that this is expensive war and that we have to make any savings we can, but I don't think that we will be [strapped for cash] if we employ [a] charwoman..."

"We have charwoman, Mr. President, but she is busy, too. She is choosing targets in Yugoslavia."

"WHAT?!?"

"Nobody else [wants] to do targeting since we made those daubs with bombing Albanian refugees, Chinese Embassy, outskirts of Sofia..."

"I am shocked! I don't know what to say... "

"Well, if you [have] some good know-how for cleansing silver, please do not hesitate to tell me, I am going to be grateful to you, Mr. President. You know, that charwoman has [a] very dogged husband who doesn't allow her to work extra hours and if we want her to do targeting, we have to do her job."


RASTISLAV DURMAN was born in 1956 (Senta, Vojvodina, Yugoslavia.) He is married and has been living in Slovakia since 1993. He's a writer, (4 novels, over 40 radio and TV plays, more than 1000 short stories,) and TV director (over 500 hours of program). Mr. Durman graduated from University of Novi Sad, Yugoslavia, 1982, with a degree in Philosophy. His postgraduate studies were at the same institution, from which he graduated in1984. Rastislav has twenty years of experience in TV media. He is one of the founders of City TV Foundation and the International Festival of Local TV Broadcasters (Head of Program and Development Dept., Kosice, Slovakia since 1995.)

This is Mr. Durman's sixth piece for The World's Magazine. His previous submission was a satirical and hypothetical look at a possible conversation between two presidents of ex-communists countries, one which has a mutual border with Yugoslavia and one further removed.

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