G21 EUROPE - "Mr. Life's 15% Story"

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Mr. Life's 15% Story

by Rastislav Durman

with translation assistance by Rod Amis

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Dolphins at play. Mr. Life still creates his silly stories. What's more, Mr. Life expects everybody to be enthusiastic about them. But not me. No way.

"As Mr. Nothing-Is-Good-Enough can see," said Mr. Life in a recent interview, when asked about my column at the G21, "my last week story production wasn't bad.

"Or Mr. Rastislav-Competition-Creates-Bullshit thinks he can write better? I would love to see it!

"Listen: Delay of Parliamentary election in Croatia because of Mr. Tudjman's illness. Fiasco of the Communists' candidate for President in the elections in Ukraine. The celebration of November 17th in former CSSR. European Security Council OECD in Turkey. Four years from Dayton and what has become of the peace in Bosnia?.. Please remind me if I'm forgetting something, Mr. Crybaby-Rastislav-Durman."

" Yes, Mr. Life, you forgot your 15% story", I said maliciously.

This time I had him. Mr. Life didn't expect me to notice his small pieces of work, His Babbleness did in a nodding way and smuggled among the noisy stories just to fill the number of words which were targeted by Mr. Life's noisome and unsound literary ambitions. Yet, Mr. Life is a piggish story creator unable to leave one motive alone before he doesn't extract the last drop of sense from it.

Therefore Mr. Life had no idea about what 15% story I was referring to. Was it the story about:

- 15% as the level of possible compromise in Slovakian Parliament which is considering a tax decline,

- 15% of ex-middle class members in "the area of transition" which this year had fallen into poverty in the Czech Republic, or

- 15% of the ballots in the future elections in Serbia which will be an inaccessible dream for Mr. Milosevic's party according to the recent trend of its popularity?

Mr. Life hates me, because I have no intention of helping him figure out which story before he gives up.

"I am giving up" grumbled Mr. Life. "What 15% story"?

Ya-haha!

According to research made a few days ago in Slovakia, there are 15% of the people who do not want to have Jews in their neighborhood; at least half of them believe that Jews are ruling the world and Slovakia from behind the shadows, and less than half of them don't repudiate the government of the Nazi-puppet Slovak State during World Ward II because of the deportation of Jews but excuse it.

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"So what?" asks Mr. Life. "You don't like the plot in that story created but you can't put any remark about dealing with literary elements there, can you?"

Of course I can.

There is a visible gap character development. The united colors of a famous fashion company are promoted in Slovakia by posters with faces of young people with different colors of skin.

Since a few days ago on every corner here you can find poster with the alluring dark skin of Noami Campbell selling some perfume. Two black students from Africa decided to stay in Slovakia for a while - Ibrahim Maiga (Bratislava,) a very popular musician and Tarko Dinka (Kosice) a very popular radio moderator, often could be seen or listened to in commercials.

Advertisement companies couldn't survive if they wasted the money of their clients for nothing. So, if people in Slovakia are not infected by xenophobia (according to what we see as the practices in the advertising business), wherefrom springs such idiotic opinions about The Holocaust (according to research)?

"Bloody pedant!" Mr. Life says and runs away.

It is a pity, because I was ready to analyze other stories from Mr. Life as part of this week's dispatch to the G21.

For example:

There's the story about the anniversary of the Dayton peace agreement in which Mr. Life didn't respect Stanislavsky (the gun on the wall in the first act of the theater play has to shoot in the third act of this play). Why? Well, according to Mr. James Lion, we could expect the denouement of theBosnian drama in three ways: the stagnation of the agreement, the implementation of the agreement or the collapse of the agreement. In the same time, we have a whole huddle on the mentioned wall and we can't assume what is going to be before closing time.
And there's the story about the celebration of the Velvet Revolution in the former CSSR. It is characteristic of Mr. Life's bad treatment of characters. This was told to me by one taxi driver in Bratislava on November 17th. He took part in the Revolution ten years ago, but he lost all of his ideals when he realized that his new boss is a person who was his boss before 1989 in another company where that boss was famous for his political puritanism and trouble - making for everybody who was not enthusiastic by values of Red October.
And then there's the story about the elections in the Ukraine.

On the other side, I was ready to give some compliments to Mr. Life, of course not because I like the plot of some stories, but because of their literary elements.

European Security Council OECD in Turkey gives birth to the "Charter about European Security" which promotes the principle that any conflict inside countries is the legitimate business of the international community. Interesting concept which leads to the idea that the main character in this play is going to be OUN or NATO Flying Circus.

And I liked the story about the delay of elections in Croatia because of Mr. Tudjman's illness. I could say it is nothing but a remake of story about the ruler with too much power and too foppish to allow anybody but him to be important, but it has a brilliant episode. Mr. Tudjman is famous football fan; what's more, his support to his favorite team often was on the other side of good taste. As an arbiter of elegance in Croatian football, Mr. Tudjman had renamed former the "Dinamo" the recent "Croatia".

In despite of their feeling of patriotism, other fans didn't show the expected enthusiasm about it, but they can't do anything because Mr. Tudjman said that "Croatia" wouldn't be "Dinamo" again until he lives. Mr. Zlatko Canjuga, the president of "Croatia" and head of city assembly of Zagreb, famous for his loyalty to Mr. Tudjman a few days ago declared that he is considering the old name of the team, because other fans would like to have "Dinamo" again.

This doesn't mean that rumors about Mr. Tudjman's death are true, but only that Mr. Canjuga has decided to risk his head for "Dinamo" fans support in future elections.

I was ready to tell all of that to Mr. Life, but Mr. Life, as usual, had moved on to some other place.

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