Everyone remembers the first time.
Some of us would rather not.
Whether it happened by accident, or it was planned, at night in the back seat of a car, in our parents' basement while they were away, in a tiny dormitory room in college, at the graveyard or in an open field --- the first time stays with us. We shall share what it was like when you went "All The Way."
Some of us went in with outrageous expectations... or fear ...or uncontrolled giggling. All of our myths about sex came with us to that first time.
This feature is meant to be an exploration of human sexuality, and our personal emotional experiences.
All identities will be kept COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIAL. Only the stories will be revealed. We invite you be part of this community, sharing THE FIRST TIME, another Reader-driven feature of the GENERATOR 21.
To share your first sexual experience simply send in an e-mail with the subject line "THE FIRST TIME" to The First Time at G21.
I guess I was a "late bloomer." At least I thought I was. When I was in high school, it seemed like everyone, all the guys, had already started having sex --- except me.
I remember this one friend, a football player, complaining about not having had "any" in over a week while we were riding to a party one night. That just made me feel more embarassed about not having had "any" ever.
I dated now and then, and had even had some "heavy petting" sessions with a couple of girls at those make-out parties we had one somebody's parents were out of town, like for the weekend. But that was it. I guess I wasn't that really bent on being with anyone in that way, yet. My whole focus was on my studies and getting into a good school.
So once I was in college, desperation started setting in. With having not the goal of getting into college anymore, I started looking around me and feeling like maybe I was the only virgin on campus. It was driving me nuts!
Well, I started hanging around with this one upperclassman, this guy Gary and I used to shoot pool together, drink beers to pass the time. It struck me that he was what you'd call a real "ladies man." Nine times out of ten when I'd go over to the dorm room he shared with this other upperclassmen, one or the other of them would be rolling a chick in or out of the place. Hell, right after orientation, it seemed like Keith, Gary's roommate, had about every freshman girl around running in and out of there! I couldn't believe it! And here I was with not even one woman seriously talking to me...
The way things started out was, I asked Gary if he could help me with my "rap." I figured half of getting a girl to like you was how you came on. I was totally clueless in this department, and it seemed like Keith and Gary had it down.
I started asking him about other stuff, too. I mean, the only things I knew about sex were from poring over Playboys in study hall with my pals back in the eight grade and all the garbage you heard from guys you hung out with. My parents had never brought the subject up directly...
So after a while I guess Gary figured out that I was a virgin --- probably from all the stupid questions I was asking --- and confronted me with it. The cat out of the bag, I told him how desperate I was becoming about being the only virgin around. I asked him if he could introduce me to a girl who would help me with my problem, and he said sure.
It turned out that Gary had once dated this girl Leslie, who was the daughter of this professor in the English department and a junior at our school. They were still pals, and she was known to be "easy." He would make all the arrangements.
He picked a weekend when Keith would be visiting his parents in New York and invited Leslie and me over to party at his dorm room. We all got baked and had some beers and laughed and talked a lot. Then Gary made some excuse to go out on some kind of errand, as arranged, as Leslie and I hung out in Keith's room. We sort of kicked back on Keith's bed, as there was only the one desk chair in there. Per Gary's instructions, I started kind of rubbing Leslie's stomach while we talked, she got the idea, and we started making out.
After a while, it was pretty obvious to her that I didn't know how to proceed. "You're a virgin, aren't you?" she said to me, and I told her yes.
Leslie was real nice about it, showing me what to do and all... We talked about it while we were making love, she even told me that she had a date with her new boyfriend the next night. After it was over, we just lied there and kept talking 'til we heard Gary come back into the next room.
The thing was, all I could think about was how disappointed I was. I felt stupid because I had built not being a virgin and knowing about sex up into this Big Revelation. And it wasn't. Afterwards, I couldn't figure out why people were so wound up about this thing.
And after that, I didn't even think or care about sex for another year, when I met this girl and really liked her. When we had sex for the first time, I finally figured it out.
It awesome! After that time, I wanted to do it all the time. It was all I thought about.
FROM JL, Richmond, VA, USA:
With your help, in this space every week we'll share with you the experience that other G21 readers had THE FIRST TIME. We shall look at the expectations, the circumstances, the aftermath of our readers' first times; how they lost their virginity.
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