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Welcome G21 readers and English language students to the inaugural column of Good Doctor English. Our publisher's continued quest to enlighten and entertain the World's denizens has led him to ask that I, too, do my small part for the needy. And so, this column.
In the coming months, Good Doctor English will field your English language questions, be they concerns about the existential nature of the lowly comma or the pros and cons of dating the new English lecturer at your university. Indeed, no questions are beyond the scope of the good doctor's knowledge and experience. As the doctor has no reader questions to field on this, his debut, he'll begin by tackling the thorny issue of:
Love vs. In Love This past week my students accosted me with a linguistic problem that was causing them trouble. I responded by using my usual tact when faced with problems. I avoided it.
Or rather I deferred the answer until sufficient time lay open for me to ruminate on the particulars over a pint of Sang Som at "The Boat House" restaurant, across the street from my house.
The grammar issue at hand was a usage problem: "Why is the preposition in attached to the word love in certain circumstances and left out in others?"But that didn't explain away what in love really meant and how it was different from just plain love. And knowing how irritatingly picky my students can be, I was certain they'd harass me for specifics. So I decided to phone a few ex-girlfriends. Not only would I get some outside input from the opposite sex, but I might also find out if any of them still held a torch for me...My gut response was that it gave an easy out for the lover whose jets had cooled and wanted to fire them up elsewhere. After all, the overused and gut-wrenching line "I love you, but I'm not in love with you," has been satiric fodder in comedians' acts for years.
"Hi Heather, still love me?"
"Ummm, who is this?"
"It's David, darling. Miss me?"
"David Blyler?! Where are you?"
"I'm in Thailand, and this call ain't cheap; so hurry up. I need to know if you still love me."
"I haven't seen you in seven years! But, you know, yeah I guess I'll always love you. Are you in trouble?"
"I ain't in prison yet. Love me how? Be specific, sweetheart."
"Ummm, remember that cassette you recorded for me or when I made you give me your old college sweatshirt? Like that. I still wear that sweatshirt, you know?"
"Yeah, I remember!" (Click) I loved that sweatshirt.
(Next Girl:) "Hey Amber, who loves ya baby?"
"Stay away from me, creep!" (Click)
I'd forgotten how badly that relationship ended.
(Next Girl:) "Hi Katie ... how's tricks?"
"David?"
"The one and only. So, are you still married to that motorhead?"
"His name's Steve."
"Whatever. So, tell me, have you ever heard Stan say he was in love with a car?"
"It's Steve. Yeah I guess so. Where are you calling from? I can barely hear you."
"An opium den in the Orient. But you would never say you were in love with a car, would you?"
"No, I guess not."
"Just like you would never say you were in love with me, right?"
"Oh my god, not this conversation again! That was totally different and you know it."
"Why?"
"Because people don't fall in love with objects like cars; those are just things; and people don't fall in love with you because you're crazy."
"But you said Stan falls in love with cars. What's up with that, peaches?"
"Well, Stan's ... I mean Steve's a guy. And don't call me peaches!" (Click)
It took me the rest of my pint of Sang Som to process what I had just heard into some sort of reasoned analysis. But providence rewards the diligent, and so here is the answer to the grammar conundrum of love vs. in love:
1) Love is a verb, and verbs, being what they are, like to be attached to things, such as favorite cassettes and warm sweatshirts from old alma maters.2) In love is a state of being that you fall into, and human beings, being what they are, prefer to fall into a soft, romantic embrace. But if you're a guy like Stan, the leather interior of a Ford will do.
Good Doctor English is a faculty member of Rajabhat Institute Rajanagarindra in Thailand and a former creative writing teacher at the University of West Bohemia in the Czech Republic. He is the author of two books of poetry and has been a contributor to several international publications.Send your questions to: gooddoctorenglish@hotmail.com
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