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THE WORLD -Forwarded by John Diener, Atlanta, GA, USA:
Subject: Bill Gates High School Speech
Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!
If you are reading it in English -Thank a soldier!!
Subject: Who said Footballers weren't intelligent!
''My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7." - David Beckham
"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." - Mark Viduka
"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had." - David Beckham
"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." - Neville Southall
"I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well." - Alan Shearer
"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." - Mark Draper
"I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing." - Ade Akinbiyi
"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." - Stuart Pearce
"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." - Barry Venison
"All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed." - Mitchell Thomas
"Sometimes in football you have to score goals." - Thierry Henry
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
She's so stuck up she'd drown in a rainstorm.
It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull.
He's as country as cornflakes.
This is gooder'n grits.
If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
Advice for Northerners moving to the South: Save all manner of bacon grease.? You will be instructed on how to use it shortly.
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can.? Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic.? Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly.? Don't try to help them.? Just stay out of their way.? This is what they live for.
You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
Remember:? Y'all is singular.? All y'all is plural.? All y'all's is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone.? They don't understand you either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective? "big ol' ," as in "big ol' truck," or "big ol' boy."? "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is 2nd, and "Y'all" is 3rd.
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone directly in the middle of the road, remember:? ALL Southern folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" get out of his way.? These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do.? In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.? It does not matter if you need anything from the store.? It is just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South.? When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house.? This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.
One last warning but probably the most important one to remember:? Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
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