Ya'll might recall when, a couple months ago, I told you about the prediction of my neighbor Cleavis, crystal-gazing man, about Nostradamus being his source for predictin' that The Smirking Shrub would be your next President. Well we have now entered the Twilight Zone --- da-da-dee-dee, da-da-dee-dee --- thanks to the US Supreme Court.

Can't you just see that scene at their collegial gathering last week. I can.

CHIEF JUSTICE "Wild Bill" REHNQUIST: Okay, now that I've heard all of ya'lls danged opinions, let's get down to cases. First of all, this election has gone on too long, period. We gottah put an end to this mess and move on to more important issues, like people buying Christmas gifts from the many discount outlets in which I have stock.

I mean, come on, I been lookin' forward to my danged retirement. I got to take care of my grandchildren's education. I bought me some land up in the horse country near Charlottesville, Virginia, I mean to kick-back at.

Ginsburg, listen, you're the only one sent up here by Seegar Bill, so I don't really give a rat's ass about your dissent. And Breyer, whenever folks hear you're durn name they think of half-gallons of ice cream. Like I should listen to the likes of you!

As to that stuff about negras not getting they votes counted, as one wise man said --- I cain't remember who right now -- "How many battalions can they put on the streets?" Right, Uncle?

THOMAS: Hyuh-hyuh-hyuh!

SOUTER (Sotto voce to O'Connor): I thought you said he was a mute!

O'CONNOR (Finger raised to lips.) Shhh!.... More


AMERICAN DREAMS:

The Race in Cameria

A glorious tradition in the town of Cameria was the annual Father-Son weekend. Every year, during the month of August, all the families in the community would gather at the park for the grand two day festival which included picnics, music, and fireworks. Although these events were exciting, the spectacle of the afternoon was the much anticipated race, in which every Father and his eldest Son would become relay partners in this annual run.

Historically, the pair that won the race was given a medal by the mayor, and this year was particularly special because it was the town's centennial celebration and a wealthy philanthropist was donating a substantial amount of money to the winning pair.

Unlike races in other communities, the race in Cameria was not based on crossing a designated finishing line but rather on whom could run the furthest in an allotted period of time. The race worked as follows: on the first day of the festival all the Fathers would run for 10 minutes and when that period elapsed a member of the community would blow through a ram's horn which would emit a loud bellowing noise signaling every runner to stop in his tracks.

Volunteers of the festival would put a flag in each of the Father's final footsteps along the path with his last name written at the top to mark his place along the trail.

The next day, the Sons would equally be granted 10 minutes to run starting where their Fathers had finished the day before as designated by the marked flags. Thus, depending on how their Fathers fared on the opening day of competition determined how far ahead or behind the Sons were in starting the race. Whichever Son was furthest ahead when the horn blew on the second day of the race was declared the winner and he and his Father would accept their prizes at a magnificent ceremony that evening in the park....More





VOX POPULI:

From Lacie B., Muleshoe, TX, USA:

Hey thank you for letting me use some things from your paper. My english Teacher Mrs. Beard loved what I wrote. If I pass English this year it'll becuase you had some strong points that you wrote very beautifully in your paper becuase like I said before I used some of them points. Thnks for writting me back too, I have always been interested in things about gay hate crimes and how we as people should stop this from happening. No one that I have wrote or called has ever answered me back,and you did. I dont know if I can ask you this question or if you'll even answer. But if you dont you have the right too and I'll understand. Dont take it affencively either...Are you gay?? Hey I was wondering if I could send you a copy of my essay since you kinda helped me with it. I would love for you too read it,and tell me what you think. Well this is a long email and you probley have better things too do...Bye.

Yours Truly...
Lacie B.....More


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There was a decisive vote in favour of the Liberal Party in the face of the remnants of conservatism that survived its overweening triumphalism under Joe Clark et al.

That is the likely fate of William Hague's Conservative Party in a British General Election next year, the same post triumphalist incohesion.

For reasons geographic and temperamental the British and Canadians were always the most likely to volunteer for extreme liberal (as opposed to Liberal) economic policies and so it is no surprise that other 'Western' economies have been less entranced by Hayek and Friedman, as interpreted by Reagan and Thatcher.

Casting a rapid glance around the globe there are few signs that countries enjoying healthy economic growth and resulting public sector surpluses are minded to cut taxes rather than increasing investment in social and physical infrastructure. The brutalities of free market capitalism may well have been necessary to break wartime corporatist practices which had lingered too long in peacetime but enough of us have seen where that leads if it goes unchecked... KEVIN CAREY "Flame" More

POWERSSOUND: This year has been a sad one for music lovers across the globe. Some of our most beloved musicians have crossed the bar, as Alfred Lord Tennyson put it in his memorable poem that most of us were forced to memorize in high school. One of the deaths that particularly surprised me was the passing of that master of Latin jazz, the incomparable Tito Puente.

Puente appeared a few years ago at the Columbus Jazz Festival, a weekend event staged at various outdoor venues around the river that flows through the downtown of Ohio's capital city. With stellar support from a polished group of backup players, Puente put on a sizzling demonstration of his prowess on the timbales and the vibraphone.

That warm and sticky July night seemed to have put the large audience into a heat-induced stupor. Not much seemed to move the audience until Puente led his musicians into a solid version of his own composition, "Oye Como Va." That's the song made famous by Carlos Santana a couple of decades ago. ... BOB POWERS "Latin Jazz: A Tasty Blend" More

RECOMMENDED DAILY REQUIREMENT: "Promise me you won't call an ambulance, I don't want any doctors cutting on me; promise me. I rather die at home than in a hospital." - my dad.

"I've asked my son to take me up to the cabin, and set me off into the lake in the rowboat if I get Alzheimer's ; hopefully, I'll remember to fall overboard" - "Fred", a senior citizen acquaintance of mine.

"You've got to quit eating that fattening stuff mom, it's killing you" - my brother (type A, health freak).

"I don't care if it's killing me, I've lived plenty long enough" - my mom, Nazi Holocaust survivor, and later (1975), the crushed survivor of a high-speed automobile collision.

"We should have him committed, he doesn't take proper care of himself" - my sister the attorney, regarding our father.

"Can't you just stop drinking, mom? You could get into a program?" "I can't, son, I can't handle reality" - my 16 year old son and his mother, my ex-wife.

"I want you guys to keep my body alive if something ever happens to me, even if I'm brain-dead" - my brother the attorney.

"She'll die within minutes if we shut off the respirator. Can one of you make the decision?" - the nurses regarding my ex-wife , who mercifully passed on 12/14/00 (r.i.p.).

"Pull the 'plug' on me, if I'm ever brain-dead or gonna be left a slobbering hulk; I'd hate to be a burden on the family" - me.

Recommending, deciding, or forcing the issue of what we think is best for someone else --- especially if it involves extended self-sacrifice on our part --- arguably could be one of the purest forms of altruism. Unlike spur-of-the-moment acts of "Good Samaritan-ism" or heroism, in which total action or inaction are the only options, any gratitude for bringing or attempting long-term change to someone else's life will come greatly after the fact, if ever. It's understandable that the "recipient" of our efforts in these situations will often be ungrateful or even hateful: often the "solution" requires a traitorous disregard of the "recipient's" wishes.... ED CANTARELLA "End of Days" More

RDR 12.15.00: REPRINT: During the Holiday Season of 1996, RADIO RAHEEM talked about some heat-seeking missiles lost between Ft. Bragg and Ft. Benning. "Infrared Goggles"

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MEMOIRS OF THE INFO AGE: LEN BULLARD: We will be stuck dead center in the battle for legitimacy and legal authority of international standards vs consortium specifications. What is in a name? Quite a lot.

1. An airliner crashes into a housing project. Investigation reveals that the diligent implementation of a consortium-specified semantic language created a fault in the real time control system of the airliner. Who is culpable?
   
   
2. A wireless vendor reveals location data about a customer, gathered under the Enhanced 911 law, [is provided] to a private detective who then photographs the customer in a compromising but ambiguous situation resulting in a lawsuit with substantial possible damages. Is the information admissible in court? If the suit is resolved but the public reputation of the customer is destroyed, can the customer sue the vendor?...

You can't imagine how many well-meaning friends have argued that I should drop the whole thing. "Write fiction!" they said. "Do what you love!" And then there are all the other "well-meaning" people who have said, "Hey, you've been doing this for ten years. Let somebody else take over"