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JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA - Good day all my American and international readers. I greet you from South Africa on this eve of Guy Fawkes Day [5 November - Ed.] (my neighbours are loudly practising their fire cracker ignition techniques in preparation for tomorrow's big night).

Currently, South Africa is, as always, beautiful. Our residential streets are a shadowy purple wonderland - they are lined by Jacaranda trees which meet above our heads and which are shedding their produce plentifully on the ground below. How it is pleasant to see these luscious mahogany roads, instead of the normal grey-black ones! Take a morning walk and your experience will be enhanced by the weak light of the break of day sun stretching its fingers through the leaves and filtering down to warm your skin.

South African people in general are rather opinionated and like to be given the chance to express their views. I conducted some research amongst some acquaintances and friends of mine who I feel represent fairly in their diversity all South African citizens as I have been in contact with Black, White, Indian and Coloured South Africans and I posed the same questions to all of them. One of the questions I asked them was What's Hot and What's Not in South Africa? ...MORE




by CHARLIE THE TUNA

SAN FRANCISCO, CA, USA - I understand from our Editor that a lot of you students been askin', "Where is Charlie? When will he be back?" Glad you missed me! So's I'm gonnah do two things in this outing. First, I'm gonnah have to give another lecture about our Editor's continual whining about his Lack of A Love Life and try to help him get a clue. Second, I'll share with you what I've learned about the new look of the hot whore houses down in Mexico.

That's where The Mack has been. Welcome to Tiajuana. Now drop your pants, Big Boy...MORE




by ROD AMIS

NEW ORLEANS - 7 November, 2002: I am in the season of hunting. My own assessment of the situation, last week, has proven premature. Given the least of provocations, I have gone back into the mode of the fly awaiting the fangs of the spider - or at least the strands of some tangled web.

Since you have been following this little saga, my dear, you will know that my vaunted analytical powers fall by the wayside in matters of the heart. I flounder. I carp. I obsess in seemingly unperturbed silence while the volcano rages under the surface of my gaze.

There has been a cold snap here in New Orleans since All Saints Day, which naturally turns the mind to thoughts of another warm body. (Perhaps that is why women are sexier in the north?) ...MORE

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