G21 HUMOR

JOKE OF THE DAY

Today's Laughs Provided by:

Jim Farrington

Middletown, CT, USA

The Childhood's End Edition CRUNCHTIME: WALLY WORTS on female NBA Coaches, Mark McGwire's prospects of setting a new standard, and the Wort Philosophy. TRIO: RADIO RAHEEM says that Childhood Ends when you learn to "SAY THE WORDS." HOUSE OF CARDS: A NEW Joke of the Day from JIM FARRINGTON, Middletown, CT, USA. PLANETARY MADNESS: JENNIFER BLUE does the take on whether "... the fault, Dear Brutus..." is in your stars or you.... LONDON CALLING!: FLISS USSHER proclaims that Childhood's End is learning to THINK. ON DRUGS: ADAM J. SMITH on a rational way to deal with the "Substances, Substances" which are part of our lives. Another update of Your VOX POPULI page: CARLENE(The Misanthropic Bitch) returns to answer a critic, WALLY WORTS has a fan, and more of the "Nial C. & Tom Show..." STONEWALL VIEWS: PHIL MARTIN on the childishness of "SALAD BAR RELIGION." DON'T READ ME FIRST!: Our publisher admits surprise at where this theme is going! The MACHINE Edition BarnesandNoble SEARCH: If you're like us, you like good writing. Use the Barnes and Noble Search Engine page to find great savings on good books, delivered right to your home or office! For rapid response, use The Message Board HOME

Subject: Wisdom

ON COURAGE: "They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind." - Cindy Crawford

ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE: "Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not my cleavage." - Carole Mallory

ON POVERTY: "Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery." - Beverly Johnson

ON FATE: "I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that." - Christie Brinkley

ON PSYCHOLOGY: "I loved making 'Rising Sun'. I got into the psychology of why she liked to get strangled and tied up in plastic bags. It has to do with low self-worth." - Tatjana Patitz

ON ARRIVING: "Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take." - Kathy Ireland, star of 'Alien From L.A.' and 'Danger Island'

ON PRIORITIES: "I would rather exercise and (do yeast infection remedy commercials) than read a newspaper." - Kim Alexis

ON GEOPOLITICS: "Mick Jagger and I just really liked each other a lot. We talked all night. We had the same views on nuclear disarmament." - Jerry Hall

ON INNER STRENGTH: "I love the confidence that makeup gives me." - Tyra Banks

ON DEATH: "Richard doesn't really like me to kill bugs, but sometimes I can't help it." - Cindy Crawford

ON TRAVEL: "I haven't seen the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre. I haven't seen anything. I don't really care." - Tyra Banks

ON BREAKTHROUGHS: "Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in volleyball and modeling." Gabrielle Reece

ON EPIPHANY: "I just found out that I'm one inch taller than I thought." - Christie Brinkley

ON HEREDITY: "My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly.'" - Beverly Johnson

ON THE BASICS: "It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old T-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout." - Cheryl Tiegs

ON INTRODUCTIONS: "I think most people are curious about what it would be like to be able to meet yourself -- it's eerie." - Christy Turlington

ON COURTSHIP: "The soundtrack to 'Indecent Exposure' is a romantic mix of music that I know most women love to hear, so I never keep it far from me when women are nearby." - Fabio

ON THE CONSERVATION OF MATTER: "I've looked in the mirror every day for 20 years. It's the same face." - Claudia Schiffer

ON TRAGEDY: "The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles -- but I had on thick tights underneath." - Naomi Campbell

ON INSTINCT: "If I'm making a movie and get hungry, I call time-out and eat some crackers." - Carol Alt

ON OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS: "I tried on 250 bathing suits in one afternoon and ended up having little scabs up and down my thighs, probably from some of those with sequins all over them." - Cindy Crawford

ON ECONOMICS: "I don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day." - Linda Evangelista

ON ZEN: "When I model I go pretty blank. You can't think too much or it doesn't work." - Paulina Porizkova

ON LOGIC: "I think, if my butt's not too big for them to be photographing it, then it shouldn't be too big for me." - Christy Turlington

ON BODY PARTS: "I don't know what to do with my arms. It just makes me feel weird and I feel like people are looking at me and that makes me nervous." - Tyra Banks

ON BODY LANGUAGE: "You can usually tell when I'm happy by the fact that I've gained weight." - Christy Turlington

ON DEPRIVATION: "If they had Nautilus on the Concorde, I would work out all the time." - Linda Evangelista

ON MOTIVATION: "It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to, and I would." - Kate Moss

ON VERSATILITY: "I can do anything you want me to do so long as I don't have to speak." - Linda Evangelista

ON THE GRIEF PROCESS: "When my Azzedine jacket from 1987 died, I wrapped it up in a box, attached a note saying where it came from and took it to the Salvation Army. It was a big loss." - Veronica Web

Just remember ya'll, models are people tooooooooo...

+++ the PREVIOUS JOKE +++ the NEXT JOKE +++