A pop singer rather famous here named Goca Trzan had appointed her first big concert here in Belgrade after which she was supposed to go on a tour trough (sic) Serbia. I like her, she's got that voice which resembles to my favorite blues and soul singers. So everyone were talking about her concert for two weeks and the tickets were soled long before the opening night. The night come and when she come out to the stage, she was taken aback. There was no one in the auditory (sic) except ONE person. That was the guy who bought all the tickets (gave about $ 20 000 USA). She didn't knew what to do, but her manager forced her to sing. So she had a concert for one person - singing a little, crying a lot. It turned out that the guy fell in love with her a year ago and after the concert he gave her 101 roses, diamond ring, one way ticket to Geneva and of course, he proposed her. Now the entire country (including me)waits to see the end - whether she'll accept the proposal or not. But it doesn't really matter. What matter is the beautiful and soooooo romantic idea which knocked all of us down. Wonderful story, isn't it?

I have found it odd how different people react to this story. While hopeless romantics like Dragana and I find it charming and delightful, some people I've related it to have a completely different reaction: shocked paranoia. They immediately go into the "He's probably a psycho-stalker" mode. That's probably a very adult outlook on life, but a very sad one it seems to me. A world without the possibility of well-intentioned and childlike romance is a world that's a bit too cynical and jaded and frightening for me.

All the evidence is there that the world is a frightening place, after all, so I don't see any reason to reinforce the drumbeat of fear in my own mental universe.

But then I'm still the type who wants to believe in butterflies and rainbows and fairy-tale love affairs. Oh well...

Inside the Glass House

Reading is a good thing. It allows you to contemplate the issues of life while getting outside of your own life and your own head for some time. There are various wonderful writers you can appreciate who are not you and therefore have some insight that will be a benefit. The world has always loved stories and so you will discover stories that are not about you and your neighbors by reading books. That is what I have always believed anyway.

Mostly, I have been wading through the books that Dragan and Dragana bought me while I was in Serbia this year. As I've mentioned, I'm quickly learning the long and storied history of that Balkan country and I am enjoying doing so immensely.

I am more conscious of the weather because I work outside. The weather here in New Orleans was what you might describe as "Indian Summer" until today. Today began with weather that might remind one of the average day in San Francisco. It began very overcast and chilly. There was a high wind because of a cold snap out of Texas that lowered the temperature even further. This, too, shall pass.

I have not heard from my family lately, and that is worrisome. I am beginning to think that, like my friend Barbara who demurred on telling me about her new job, they believe that I will be saddened by good news. Just the opposite is true. It warms my heart to hear that anyone has good news, since I have none to share these days.

I try not to succumb to my natural bent for feeling guilty about not being able to repay the many people I owe. I hate the notion of having the word "Deadbeat" applied to me, especially while knowing that I am trying as hard as I can to make enough money to honor my extensive commitments.

I am thankful that I have a roof over my head right now.

I'm still conflicted about giving up on fiction... It bothers me that I have decided not even to try because I do believe there is a book in me. It's just that basic survival, life, intrudes each and every day and try as I might, there is never the time for contemplative or creative writing anymore.

There are two women that I am interested in right now, one that I am keeping a secret about -- even to my closest friends, so I can't tell you anything, either -- and one who everyone knows I'm enamored toward. The latter is very strange and another of my "bent coins" (which is why I'm interested, of course.) She is a painter and a bass player and encourages me one day only to give me the cold shoulder the next. ("Come here, come here, come here! Go away, go away, go away!") The secret woman is almost sane. She is nice to me, too. That is probably why I am more drawn to the bent coin...

My roommates are acting more considerate. Matt laid down the law to the vultures who have hanging around our place. He did it in his Switzerland manner, letting them know that it just might get under my skin that people come here to eat the food I buy and never think that I can't really afford to feed a percentage of our neighborhood. I was pleasantly surprised that he would plead my case in this way.

I am questioning many of my assumptions. At least twice in the last two days I have been pleasantly surprised to have myself proven wrong. At least one example of Rod being completely wrong is DOUGLAS MC DANIEL's Mythville article this week, where he gives a journeyman job of straight journalism rather than the type of piece I expect in his space. You might want to check it out.

I am dreaming about a place to be.

THINGS I WANT THIS WEEK

Rod was a columnist for the Andover News Network, where he wrote over two hundred articles on web design and development issues. He was also principal writer and Editor for IT Manager's Journal, where he reviewed technology issues weekly, producing 383 editorials. He became the Managing Editor for Electronic Mail/Newsletter Publications at Andover.net at the end of February, 2000, and left in September of the same year. He was a contributing writer for ACCESS magazine, which appears both on- and offline for 10 million readers in 100 newspapers like the San Francisco Chronicle, New York Post, Boston Herald, Austin American-Statesman, Denver Post and Orlando Sentinel, among others. Rod was the US reporter for Silicon.com, a division of Network Multimedia Television in London, UK, reaching 3.5 million European readers, until May, 2001.

Rod lives in New Orleans, Louisiana, right now. The new home of the magazine. But he plans to return to Serbia next year.

He continues to be committed to integrity, chastity and a dose of humility.

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