Rod Amis - Unbound

NEW ORLEANS - 13 August, 2003: Most clerics, no matter what their confession/faith, glance over the Gospel account of Jesus going to the wedding in Capernaeum. There's a reason why. It points out that Jewish weddings are celebrations and that Jesus was a Jew.

What that account means was that there was Jesus the Christ LAUGHING, DANCING AND SINGING with his friends in celebration. If I have ever believed in any Jesus, I have always believed in the laughing Jesus. Why else would he have asked us to "suffer the little children to come unto me"? Kids like to laugh.

EVEN WORSE: What did he do at this wedding you can read about in all the Gospels of the New Testament? When the WINE ran out, he turned the water into wine to keep the party going. (I know the Fundamentalists must be gasping by now. But it's in the Book you say you believe in, Baby, so read it again!)

Yes, the Lord and Savior wanted to make sure that his Homies were having a good time. It was a Jewish wedding.

I bring this up because I was a Religion major at University. I suspect that I know Jesus better than most of his modern-day adherents. That is why I have always reminded people of THE LAUGHING JESUS.

[That was for you, Barbarella - RA]...

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5 August, 2003: Let's begin with a typical "Publisher's Note" entry this week. I have to state the obvious while making a guilty confession ‚ especially for a guy who wrote a column on Web design for over two years and still makes (a small) part of his living from designing pages for other people. I haven't redesigned our links page in over six years. Just never got around to it. Besides, in all the time we've been on the Web not a single reader has ever made a comment about that page. Fact is, I've neglected the page because I believe the only people who ever go there are other Webmaster's looking to see if I actually gave them the link I'd promised or ones looking to improve their position in some search engine like Google.

Approximately three years ago, you see, it became an Article of Faith among people promoting Web sites that the more people linked to your site the higher its placement would be among the various search engines. Since search engines steer a lot of traffic, it seemed to follow that your Web site would get more exposure. So lots of sites, including this one, either joined link exchange programs or started their own independent "link partners" programs.

My personal experience has been that link partners provide a negligible number of new visitors to the magazine, though I get daily referrals from the search engines with Google being the source of the lion's share of new and repeat visits. For example, a number of people who read RAHEEM's article on Shelby Steele's essay in Harper's magazine have commented that they found the piece because it places highly on a Google search for Shelby Steele.

Getting back to the point, do I think it's a good idea to have a page on my Web site that looks nothing like all the other pages and is obviously the victim of designer neglect? Well, no. It's unprofessional. The design of this site should be consistent throughout. Why haven't I done anything about it all these years? It's a "Who cares?" issue, as I've implied. Nonetheless, I had to wince when commenting to my pal Matt about that neglect and telling him I didn't think anyone even visited the page - then showing it to him - when he exclaimed, "Rod, that page screams 1996." It was an especially painful comment as that is how I usually characterize pages produced by most New Orleans Web designers.

(I do think about these issues.)

My conclusion is that I'm faced with two challenges because of the foregoing.

1. Design a links page that will be attractive for visitors to this magazine.
2. Make myself care more about the links page.

Any comments or suggestions you might have along these lines would certainly be appreciated.

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Weeks ago in this space, the subject of the deteriorating situation in Afghanistan came up. Since we don't hear much about Afghanistan since the U.S. "victory" there, I've felt it important to keep that troubled country on your radar screen, my dear. It seems from this quarter that any country on His Fraudulency's radar screen for conquest becomes a country doomed to regression. There are approximately eight thousand five hundred U.S. troops stationed in Afghanistan as part of an 11,500 force of anti-terror, peace-keeping mission in that country. As reported here in the previous reference, the situation of the Karzai government is so appalling that U.S. officials have actually held talks with the Taliban - The Enemy during that war - of coming back into the government in order to re-establish order in Afghanistan.

If that fact was not "through the looking glass" enough, we can now add to that the latest report from Los Angeles Times correspondent Robyn Dixon this week. According to Dixon's article opium production in Afghanistan has skyrocketed since the United States overthrew the former government. Banditry is on the rise, as well. The south and east of the country are under the control of chieftains and warlords immune to the Karzai government, indeed contemptuous of it. Since the Taliban were the only army of the country, the U.S.-installed government is scrambling to raise a new one. So far the Afghan government has only 4,000 trained troops. It's difficult for the government to compete with the insurgents, Taliban and warlord, who can offer their fighters the equivalent of $100 (USD) a month gleaned from narcotics sales and trafficking.

This is the kind of news that the Bush Administration does want you to read or think about. So you won't see much discussion of it on Fox News or MSNBC. But the facts speak for themselves. Afghanistan could easily spiral into a state of chaos. Kofi Annan thinks so. And no matter your opinion of the United Nations, their agencies are far more expert at assessing the chances for disaster than the U.S. Department of Defense has proven itself to be thus far.

But this low-attention-span regime under which we suffer has its hands full with the daily death toll of American troops in Iraq right now. Afghanistan is simply not a priority, though we took that country over as well, as long as there are daily reports of young Americans being killed in the latest theater of battle.

It's telling, at least from this vantage, when among the seventy and ninety year olds listed on the obituary page of the New Orleans Times-Picayune one also finds listed a twenty-four year old who died from a rocket-propelled grenade in Mosul, Iraq.

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Click here to read about our Publisher's false arrest. Organizations and individuals in New Orleans are organizing to help Rod fight his unjust arrest and charges. You can help, too. For information on how you can help our publisher meet his legal defense costs, send an e-mail with the SUBJECT LINE "FOR JUSTCE" by following this link. THE HONORABLE CONTRIBUTORS: (List Updated Each Publication Date) SCOTT SALIN, New Orleans, LA, USA-$200 MICHELLE and the Drag Queens of MAMA'S BLUES Revue, New Orleans, LA, USA And the many, many un-named guests who contributed to the proceeds.-$395 SEAN CUSHMAN, New Orleans, LA, USA-$25 "DAVE", New Orleans, LA, USA-Living Quarters STEVE VIVIAN New York, NY, USA-$60 PETE SHORTELL, New Orleans, LA, USA-Cocktails MARY MC GINN, New Orleans, LA, USA - $100 DR. IAN CRYSTAL New Orleans, LA, USA - $40 And (far too many) cocktails TERRY LEE TERRIAN Sebastopol, CA, USA - $100 LIONEL ROLFE Los Angeles, CA, USA - $40

AS EVIDENT SINCE LAST WEEK'S EDITION, WE'RE (ONCE AGAIN) TESTING THE POWER OF ADVERTISING. I find it amusing to see the ads that the Google AdSense 'bots believe are appropriate after "spidering" our pages for keywords. The first example duly noted was the fact that on KIMBERLY BLAKER's article about Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore's resistance to the Establishment clause in the U.S. Constitution, the Google spiders decided that ads encouraging you to buy property in Alabama fit the article. I was rolling on the floor laughing out loud!

I'll be interested to see what they make of the weekly screed here at the Glass House over time. Stay tuned.

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ONE OF THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE MOUTHPIECE MEDIA (MM) is that it takes them forever to catch up with a significant story. On 28 July of this year, G21's KIMBERLY BLAKER lead story of that week reported on Alabama Chief Justice Moore's defiance of national law. It was the lead story on "NBC Nightly News" tonight. What took them so long?

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10 August, 2003: Unless I get lucky today and my buddy Matt can ferry me to Molly's for a few minutes, it will be nearly a week since I "jacked in". I had to work at the bar and doing my bike delivery Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday there was court and the bevy of telephone calls which followed it. It is good to have more work, but that leaves me less time for this effort and other projects.

Yesterday, I was simply too beat to do much more than socialize, though I did meet with a police officer who has offered to look into the progress of my case. After that I came home and was in bed by 8:30 p.m.

The number of disquieting, just plain strange, things that surround my case continue to accumulate. The District Attorney's office asked for another continuance because they had not got around to providing answers to defense motions and because they claim they just can't find one of the officers who filed the police report. The 8th District, where the officer in question stated he was assigned said, according to the D.A., they don't have any such officer. The other officer could be found - he's on vacation. So nothing happened. We go back for another attempt at a motion hearing on 28 August.

I gave my attorney half the money I'd accumulated during the week and came home.

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NEAR DAILY, I HEAR MORE NAMES OF PEOPLE VYING TO BECOME GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA: Arnold Schwartzenegger, Gary Coleman, Arianna Huffington. The circus is back in town.

Troubling about this development is the political axiom about U.S. politics that California leads the nation. Immediately the Proposition 13 "tax revolt" and the ban on smoking anywhere in public come to mind. If this is another trend-setting event, woe be unto us.

Politicians are facile and pandering enough as things stand. Think of the caliber of leadership we can expect in our states if this California impulse flourishes. And most importantly: What kind of "democracy" will we have if legitimate state and local elections can be voided on the whim of any millionaire willing to invest in gathering a few thousand signatures to overturn them?

I am becoming more and more concerned each day that the attempt at maintaining a "government by the people, of the people and for the people" is perishing from this earth.

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11 August, 2003: NEW ORLEANIANS HAVE AN AMAZING ABILITY to suspend disbelief. When they hear something will happen or start in July, they forget that their experience teaches that that probably means it will happen/start in October. When a schedule says a band will play at 2:00, they can forget that that likely means the band will take the stage at 3:30. When someone says "Meet me for 8," that means they have until 9:30 to arrive at the appointed destination.

This habit of laxadaisicalness used to drive me up a wall. I took it as an affront, a way of saying that my time was not valuable, rather than what it is - the custom of people moving through a bush of ghosts. What it really is is a habit of being oblivious to actual time that comes easily to people used to partying until dawn, people who joke about their two days "runs" (of alcohol and other substances.) Whole days fall into black holes for some people in this town, so why should I get upset about a couple of hours ...

Some of the streets here are so cracked and potholed that cars can't maintain their suspensions. Roots from ancient trees blossom beneath sidewalks and turn their plates into concrete cliffs perilous to negotiate. The ancient cobbles lain for sidewalks in the older neighborhoods dip and sway and give everyone a drunken gait. A few hours of rain easily overwhelm the old French gutters and turn streets into small rivers. That kind of environment lends itself to a Third World esprit. The accumulated frustrations that must be endured to live here make people more tolerant of each other's idiosyncrasies and peccadilloes. "You've got to be able to hang to live in New Orleans. Be nice or leave."

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20 August, 2003: I CAN BE AN EXTREMELY PATIENT MAN. Really. At least on the surface. When my buttons are being pushed, I can simply smile and say "You're correct, sir." Most people don't notice that I'm pissed off. What some people don't see is that I am mentally imagining slitting their throats at that moment. I swallow my anger or drown it in drink. And that's a problem.

That's why I've been away so long, my love. For about two weeks there I was working every damned day because I was auditioning to be a bar manager. As you might imagine, I was damned good at it. I walked into a place that was ringing $4 - $12 (USD) on the weekends and suddenly had it ringing hundreds. I know a lot of drunks.

The good thing about that job was that I was able to almost completely pay off my lawyer. She stalked me every shift and took all of my shift pay. But now I owe her very little. That is a very good thing. I didn't need the stress.

The problem was that my boss was one of those drunks - though I didn't know him before taking the job. He'd get about eight or ten V.O. and 7's into him and then proclaim, in front of my customers/friends, that he was one of the ten smartest people in all of New Orleans and I, on the other hand, had an intelligence quotient (I.Q.) of about sixty. I'd smile and say, "You're correct, sir."

Let us recall that I endured growing up with an abusive father. I'm averse to taking abuse as an adult.

I handled things in my usual low-key style. (Mr. Valium.) He came into the bar as I was doing a movie night ("Bowling for Columbine") and pushed my button one time too many. ("Worked my last nerve ... .") I took the keys to the bar off my key ring and deposited them where he was sitting with his cocktail. Then I walked out the door.

A friend saw me later and said he was surprised that I was no longer behind the bar all-of-a-sudden. I responded that I never make scenes.

So now I'm back to you, darling. I have a score of great stories from the other writers here in queue. I plan to offer them to you over the next couple of weeks. It will take me at least that long to catch up.

I've come to realize that publishing this magazine is the only means I have any longer of letting you know I'm still alive.

I'm down to a hundred and seventy pounds now, the least I've weighed since I was married. I think I weighed this last when I was in my mid-twenties. I seem to be wasting away since the court case started and I'm not sure why. Stress? Anxiety? Lack of food? Probably all of the foregoing. Add lack of sleep.

If I continue losing weight at this pace people will begin to whisper that I'm on crack or have AIDS. We know that neither is the case, but I am becoming concerned about my wasting away. Maybe it's the cancer thang. At least I'm not in (physical) pain.

Because I'm concerned about my health, I need to remind you that I love you. I wouldn't continue doing this magazine if you weren't there.

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MY BEST WISHES NOW are to live long enough to complete the screenplay and find the Last Woman. I would like to find love again before I'm gone. As I remember love, it puts the rainbow colors back in one's life. It makes one giddy in a good way. I would like to feel that romantic love feeling one last time. I would like to rediscover what it is like to be touched by another person. I have been celibate far too long.

Almost every woman looks appealing to me these days but I have forgotten the rules of courtship. I no longer know how to indicate that I am on the showroom floor. So I say nothing. Meanwhile, I ache for someone to just hold me and hug me.

It's odd to be a man that so many other people thinks has a million friends and not have one person who intimately loves me.

I have written in the past that the Cosmic Question is "Where Are You?" Perhaps that has only been the Cosmic Question for me ...

Things I Need This Week

1. A new job.

2. Mo' Money.

3. To get off this legal merry-go-round.

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Thanks for coming back this week.

"Work like you don't need the money,
"Love like you've never been hurt,
"Dance like no one is watching..."
Rod

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ROD AMIS has published this magazine since 1990. It first appeared as a hardcopy 'Zine. In March, 1996, he launched it here on the Web. Rod was a Contributing Editor at Suite101.com, where he wrote the " 'Net Publishing" feature. His work has been featured in the San Francisco Bay Guardian Online, NRV8, and at WebLab's Reality Check site. Rod was also a contributing writer on technology for Faulkner Information Services. He wrote on Web issues for MethodFive.com's Hyper newsletter.

Rod was a columnist for the Andover News Network, where he wrote over two hundred articles on web design and development issues. He was also principal writer and Editor for IT Manager's Journal, where he reviewed technology issues weekly, producing 383 editorials. He became the Managing Editor for Electronic Mail/Newsletter Publications at Andover.net at the end of February, 2000, and left in September of the same year. He was a contributing writer for ACCESS magazine, which appeared both on- and offline for 10 million readers in 100 newspapers like the San Francisco Chronicle, New York Post, Boston Herald, Austin American-Statesman, Denver Post and Orlando Sentinel, among others. Rod was the US reporter for Silicon.com, a division of Network Multimedia Television in London, UK, reaching 3.5 million European readers, until May, 2001.

Last year he worked as Assistant to the General Manager of a Big Easy company that does restaurants and nightclubs. (Think: The Boy.) Oh yeah, Rod's had Day Jobs working construction. Mostly renovations of old New Orleans structures, houses and a bar. Sometimes he designs Web sites for other people so that he can get his creative juices flowing the way he can't at a staid publication like this one. And he's been the instructor in Editing for Internet Publications at the Novi Sad School of Journalism in Yugoslavia. Our Resident Philosopher is, again, another of those fabled New Orleans bartenders and does bike delivery for restaurants on the side. He dreams about having a "permanent residence" that he likes. In his spare time, he chases women in the manner that a fly pursues a spider.

Rod lives in New Orleans, Louisiana. This town is eroding his normal sense of driven purpose. He wants to live somewhere civilized when he grows up. Wish him Luck.

He continues to be committed to integrity, chastity and a dose of humility.

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