Rod Amis - Unbound

PHOENIX, AZ, USA - 26 October, 2004: I did not sleep at all well last night. I was plagued with troubling dreams. Right now I feel relaxed and settled. I am making a pot of chili con carne y pollo to last me for this week. It is in keeping with living here in the barrio. Wafting in through my open windows are Mexican ballads and the voices of the many children who inhabit this courtyard at play, chiding their parents, happy to be out of another day of the imprisoned that is called "school." The palms in this courtyard do not clack like those I remember from Egypt. Rather than grass, in our courtyard we have dust and sand, a tiny rock garden enclosed in a concrete rectangle, a sheltered stone picnic table, a couple of barbecue grills. We could as easily be in Saltillo as Phoenix. It's seldom at all that I hear English spoken outside of the walls of this apartment. The little girls who come by every evening to sell me homemade doughnuts, two for a dollar, refer to me as "El Senor." (It must be the grey beard.)

I know this because one of them turned to the other, as they were getting off their school bus last week and I was trudging home from my bus ride from work, and said, "Mira! El Senor!" Then she and her sister said, "Hi!" I responded, "Hola! Como 'sta?"

They laughed at my weak Spanish and said, "Okay."

The first girl asked, "You are coming from your work?"

"Yes."

"What do you do?" she asked.

"I work in a real estate office downtown."

"On computers?"

"Yes, I use a computer for my job."

"Is that why you have a computer at home, too?"

I hadn't noticed that they had noticed this about me. I lied. "Well, yes, I guess so."

I walked on. My Spanish CD is still in New Orleans. I have to wait until I have enough "spare" money to have my pal Matt ship it out here to me so that I can learn what the people around me are saying and be able to converse with them intelligently.

Doug announced today that he is interviewing for a job in Ridgeway. (I have to assume that the city is in Colorado, since he seems obsessed with returning there, though I can't remember a story he has told me where that place was particularly fortunate for him.)

There are some people who are married to their misery, as I've written before. I try my darndest not to be one of them. The only thing I feel married to is this Memory Machine and how it facilitates the well-spring, the Cathedral of Words that I am compelled to build.

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28 October, 2004: Took a look at the last lunar eclipse of the year last night, as the shadow of our planet went across the face of the moon. A brown spot covering all that full and wonderful brightness. And now we lurch on toward Halloween, All Saints Day and the Dios de los Muertos. The Rules of Sleep become more elusive, sometimes from worries (you know what my life is like, little love) and sometimes because of the many percolating ideas for my own salvation that I must arise to act upon in the cool, quiet of the morning. It's that kind of time for me.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS to learn right now. It's a time for enhancing my skills again in order to keep this magazine timely and effective. It's a time to seek new writers, new relationships, new ways of looking at our world. I try not to let the topical take my attention from the larger picture and my larger goals.

I might have finally stumbled upon The Plan to make this magazine begin to cover some of its own expenses (That would be a nice change, wouldn't it?) and in the process take some of the pressure off of me.

Very topical for me right now -- ("You mean besides that awful farce they're calling an election in your country, Rod? I read that they lost 60,000 absentee ballots in Broward County, Florida, on Wednesday! What's up with that?" More of what I was warning you about in my editorial two weeks ago, Darling) -- is the debilating job search. I certainly need to make more money, I send out resumes every single day but it's slow going.

I often try to imagine what it would be like, what it was once like, if there was not the gnawing economic pressure to contend with every day. I imagine how much more I could accomplish, including pounding out that second book.

MORE from the PHOTO ALBUM

My pal Greg Cowman, of New Orleans, constantly sends me amusing things. Not only some of the wonderful jokes featured in our Newsletter but also some amazing photos.

This weekend he sent me shots of creative things people had done with their vehicles. I thought I'd share three that particularly tickled my fancy here. (Note in the one of the "pump" vehicle, as I think of the one based on a woman's high heel shoe, that the car in the background of the picture is nicely tricked out, too.)

And, Robin Miller if you're reading this, do check out the limo! I almost forwarded that one on to you, my man ...

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Two More of my characteristic Biercianisms:

1. "He thinks of things in terms of programs, groups and movements. X has never met an individual he did not loathe." AND
2. "I was a first deceived by Y's mask, too. He uses that constant smile and treacly 'niceness' to cover the fact that he is not listening, nothing you have to say matters to him and he is as ruthless as a viper.

   "Have you noticed that his eyes never smile?"

NEWS TO ROD

Between the 60,000 absentee ballots that went missing in Broward County, Florida, and the 380 tons of explosives that went missing in Iraq, my transom was as busy as usual this week. I wish I could find a hook to close the damned thing.

There was a notable absence of grand oratory this week, though. Too much that came across was over-passionate, if not frenzied, and the echo chamber that masquerades as journalism was very much in force.

But if one stepped back for a moment, there were a few plumb items like these:

ITEM ONE: [From The Register (UK), 27 October, 2004, "Bush web site adopts isolationist stance," by John Leyden]:

International access to the official re-election website of Us President George W. Bush (www.georgewbush.com) has been blocked. Surfers from outside the US trying to reach the site receive an "access denied" message.

Netcraft reports that the site, hosted at SmarTech Corporation, began using the Akamai content distribution network to manage traffic on 21 October. The move followed a six hour outage on 19 October, which also the official site of the Republican National Committee. Neither organisation gave reasons for the temporary blackout.

Since Monday morning (25 October) GeorgeWBush.com began rejecting web requests from outside the United States, Netcraft reports. Those outside America can only reach the site through US based proxies (such as proxify.com) but not through European proxies, Reg readers report.

ITEM TWO: Long-term readers know that I gave up driving automobiles in 1991. Close friends know that the fastest way to get my blood boiling is to talk about the American "romance" with the automobile. I take the fact that cars and our one-person-in-one-car spewing poison into the air every day way of death is killing the very planet we depend on very seriously.

So this item from the 1 November, 2004 edition of The Nation, Climate Change, The Absent Issue by Mark Hertsgaard, just contributed to my boil when I read it in the hard-copy edition. [The link provided takes you the Web article in its entirety.]

...The Bush Administration remains in denial about climate change even though its closest overseas ally, British Prime Minister Tony Blair, said in September that climate change is the single biggest long-term problem his nation faces. Blair's top scientific adviser, David King, has gone further, declaring that climate change is the biggest threat civilization has ever faced--bigger even than the global terrorism that dominates headlines and obsesses George W. Bush. King warned in July that there is now enough carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to melt all the ice on earth, which would put most of the world's biggest cities under water, starting with low-lying metropolises like New York, London and New Orleans. "I am sure that climate change is the biggest problem that civilization has had to face in 5,000 years," King said. Even Shell Oil chairman Ron Oxburgh admitted in June that he is "really very worried for the planet."...

ITEM THREE: Not every one of these items has to be Doom & Gloom, right? Every now and then something comes over the transom that's like the "cute puppy" story they add to your local, nightly television news broadcast. Or it's just weird. I can't decide whether this item is for the Just Weird Department or not but it's certainly geeky.

Somehow I missed the fact that this design house in Italy was sponsoring a "Miss Digital World" pageant. You can take a look at some of the contestants by following the link. Enjoy! (I thi nk. Either that or get creeped out.)

G21 Editorial: No More Fear

I can feel safe in the knowledge that by the time you American readers come to this journal and this editorial you will already have voted. Nothing said in this week's entry will have had the least impact on your decision, if any of what appears here ever did.

Last week's editorial and the conclusion of the "Glass House" for last week were almost victims of self-censorship.

I could imagine those of you who squirm in your seats whenever the subject of race is broached doing just that. "Why can't you simply focus on our common humanity?" you are wont to ask.

When every day during this season, one reads in newspapers both here and abroad or discovers memos on the BBC Web site, of all places, that the party of the President of the United States means to suppress, challenge or invalidate "inner city" votes and the votes of "minorities" and one is Black, it is impossible to make such fine distinctions.

It is impossible to be silent.

They have made the issue of the color of our skins central to their thinking about this election. They have devoted strenuous effort and financial resources to setting us apart from the commonweal of this supposedly "free" country, actively working to disenfranchise us where possible. It is unreasonable, in our view here at The World's Magazine, to therefore assert that we should ignore or remain silent about the issue of race when it has clearly been put on the table.

Let's not mince words: race remains a central and problematic issue in American life, not just as regards voting rights, but also as to employment -- or the lack thereof -- housing, access to the levers and resources of opportunity, and even where we choose to eat, party, learn and worship.

It's not quite apartheid, legally, but in the practice of our daily lives as Americans it is not apartheid in name only.

That's the reality of life on the ground in "the Land of the Free." Some people are more free and more equal than others and it isn't just about money, it is also and clearly about race.

Let's admit it.

If this were not so, using Florida as the most egregious example, why would so much time and money be invested in keeping the Black vote from fully taking place in this and the previous election?

If this were not true, why -- as pointed out in the previous editorial -- would both candidacies have shunted aside or ignored the very issues most important to Black Americans, even when directly questioned about one of those issues?

That direct question, from Gwen Ifill at the second Presidential debate, was about the epidemic proportions of the increase of HIV infection among Black women in the United States. But what about those other silent issues, un- and under-employment, equal access to housing and educational opportunity, a burgeoning healthcare crisis in general and a criminal justice system where Walking or Driving While Black are still practicable causes for incarceration? What about the fact that a race that comprises only 11% of the general population has somehow become almost 60% of the prison population? Black issues, yes. And not on the campaign agenda or mentioned in the stump speeches of either major Presidential candidate.

Under these circumstances, and while young Black boys are expected to be willing to go shed their blood for this country in Afghanistan and Iraq, as patriotic citizens, it is impossible for us to remain silent about this issue of race.

The message has been clear and unequivocal: Okay, vote if you can, then please go away for the next four years. Thank you.

As you read this editorial, the votes have been cast and the litigation, spinning, charges and counter-charges have begun. Many of the controversies will, once again, be about the Black vote. Then Blacks, as a people who comprise part of the fabric of the American tapestry, will be asked to just go away.

What and who is speaking to "our common humanity" about that?

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30 October, 2004: DOUG & I STARTED THE DAY WITH THE SAME IDEA this morning: a jaunt to a coffee shop. I had forgotten to purchase more java when I went shopping last evening (thanks to one of my clients -- more on that later) and so the cupboard was bare. I can't really get into my day without a strong dose of coffee, as my former students in the former Yugoslavia wryly noted on their Web page about our classes. (Yes, Dear, I bought more coffee on the way back to this apartment.)

So off we went. While sitting there, cogitating over the make-up of this edition, over changes in the "formula" for Your World's Magazine that I mean to institute after the first of the year (oh-oh!) and thinking about the new advertising initiative I've begun here -- (It's about damned time that this magazine began to pay for itself!) -- With all this going on, the Back of My Mind was stuck on the invisible border that exists between me and most other people I encounter.

It's well-known that I have never felt fully American. I feel alien to the thought processes of most of my fellow citizens and their very approach to life and the world. But there's more to it than that.

I am palpably uncomfortable around most people. (I'm more shy than this diaristic, blog-ey journal would indicate, Luv. It's not that I'm alluding to here, either, though.) In fact, the only times I have felt really relaxed and really at home during the last few years have been around a small coterie. I would say among those who make me feel "at home" are Dragan and Dragana, Sal and Mardi at the right moments, Terry, Lars, Cheryl and Robin. Other people make me nervous.

On my constitutional walk this morning, it came to me that I have a strong need for calming influences. Though I attempt to come off as Mr. Valium, on the surface, the inner core of my being is quite volcanic. So I need people around me who don't emanate nervous energy. It's just the way I've become as I've grown older.

The G21 READERSHIP POLL

It's that time of year again. For the second year in a row, we're asking you to nominate those people who you feel have endeavored to make our world a better place. Help your World's Magazine compile a list of the Top Ten People of 2004.

All nominations are due by 6 DECEMBER, 2004. The List will be featured in our 23 DECEMBER Special Edition. Thanks in advance!

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31 October, 2004: It should be clear to those with any degree of prescience that my own attempts to cross the invisible border have been focused most these days on issues of the spiritual. Because of the demands of this endeavor, your World's Magazine, I did not make my usual visit to some house of worship today.

It struck me during yesterday's walk to look into the practices of the Society of Friends, also known as the "Quakers." It was my thought to visit one of their gatherings today, if I could locate -- via the Web, of course -- such here in Phoenix. I did. I liked what I saw and read there, especially the notion of seeking the divine in silence. (Those who know me best will know how suitable that is to my nature.) So I mean to do more research about the practices and faith of the Quakers. That is next on the itinerary of this spiritual quest of mine ...

There is so much I would share with you, my love, about this spiritual quest, about my efforts to turn the various lemons I have been given here in the Valley of the Sun (I have been here two months this week) since my arrival and my efforts to use those lemons to make lemonade. I could talk about efforts to make this apa rtment I have been granted into something resembling a refuge and a place of comfort, and talk as well about circumstances thwarting those attempts. I have told you about the seemingly endless job search and the devivifying nature of that. But I continue to embrace hope. I marvel when a shining piece of writing crosses my desktop. I dream about communion with The Next Woman, finding new and like-minded friends in this desert town and building a new social network, perhaps one day seeing that book on sale.

I treasure hearing from you, my love, when I do. It never seems often enough. But one day ...

Thanks for coming back this week. Keep me in your prayers as I keep you in my own ...

THINGS I NEED THIS WEEK

1. A better paying job.

2. Having my Boss come forward with my overdue paycheck.

3. Developing a circle of good friends here in Phoenix.

"Work like you don't need the money,
"Love like you've never been hurt,
"Dance like no one is watching ... "

Love,
Rod

ROD AMIS has published this magazine since 1990. It first appeared as a hardcopy 'Zine. In March, 1996, he launched it here on the Web. Rod was a Contributing Editor at Suite101.com, where he wrote the " 'Net Publishing" feature. His work has been featured in the San Francisco Bay Guardian Online, NRV8, and at WebLab's Reality Check site. Rod was also a contributing writer on technology for Faulkner Information Services. He wrote on Web issues for MethodFive.com's Hyper newsletter.

Rod was a columnist for the Andover News Network, where he wrote over two hundred articles on web design and development issues. He was also principal writer and Editor for IT Manager's Journal, where he reviewed technology issues weekly, producing 383 editorials. He became the Managing Editor for Electronic Mail/Newsletter Publications at Andover.net at the end of February, 2000, and left in September of the same year. He was a contributing writer for ACCESS magazine, which appeared both on- and offline for 10 million readers in 100 newspapers like the San Francisco Chronicle, New York Post, Boston Herald, Austin American-Statesman, Denver Post and Orlando Sentinel, among others. Rod was the US reporter for Silicon.com, a division of Network Multimedia Television in London, UK, reaching 3.5 million European readers, until May, 2001.

In 2002, he worked as Assistant to the General Manager of a Big Easy company that does restaurants and nightclubs. He did stints as the Resident Philosopher at three separate gin mills in that city in the French Quarter and the Marigny, earning his stripes during two successive Mardi Gras seasons. Oh yeah, Rod's had Day Jobs working construction. Mostly renovations of old New Orleans structures, houses and a bar. Sometimes he designs Web sites for other people so that he can get his creative juices flowing the way he can't at a staid publication like this one. And he's been the instructor in Editing for Internet Publications at the Novi Sad School of Journalism in Yugoslavia. Our Resident Philosopher is now looking for creative ways of re-inventing himself in the Valley of the Sun. He works during the day in a real estate office in downtown Phoenix and spends his nights dreaming of a better life. In his spare time, he chases women in the manner that a fly pursues a spider.

Rod plans publication of the first Glass House book before the end of the year and is already working on the second, sequel, manuscript.

He continues to be committed to integrity, chastity and a dose of humility.

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Our Editor does listen!

© 2004, GENERATOR 21.

E-mail your comments. We always like to hear from you. Send your kudos, brickbats and suggestions to rod@g21.net.