COLUMBUS, OHIO - I love the ocean. The feel of the breeze and the smell of salt water along with the crash of the surf against a rocky coast combine to give me a sense of being "alive." All of my senses seem finely honed while scanning the never-ending blue horizon. I actually feel exhilarated at the knowledge that my existence is infinitesimal in comparison to the large and undulating body of water.
I spend almost every vacation along the coast of Cape Cod or Maine. And while I appreciate warmer venues with spectacular beaches, it is the more barren and colder climates that I gravitate towards. Spectacular views, fewer people, and chilly nights.
Last year while vacationing I took a brief two-hour sailboat trip and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. "What the heck," I thought to myself, "why not spend a longer period of time actually sailing along the coast of Maine?" So this year for vacation, instead of simply sitting by the rocky coast and gazing at the shimmering view, I decided to actually spend some time on the water.
Fortunately, I have a good friend who was also up for the adventure. Daniel and I have traveled to several places together over the years: Washington D.C. (for the 1993 Gay Rights March), New York City (for the Stonewall 25 celebration), Provincetown (the gay Mecca of the east), and San Francisco (plain old gay Mecca). In short, we travel well together.
This, however, would be our first trip into a "non-gay" venue. And while we would be spending some time in Ogonquit, Maine (a gay friendly village), the actual boating experience would be totally "mainstream." God only knew what kind of people we would be trapped with for four days and nights. And how accepting would they be of two gay men traveling together?
Now, lest you get the wrong impression, this was NOT the Carnival Cruise Line (gay translation: NOT an RSVP cruise). The boat, American Eagle, was a 92' wood Windjammer. The cabins were tiny (bunk beds with enough floor space to turn around) and the two "heads" (bathrooms) for the boat were each about the size of a telephone booth.
As Daniel and I tried to fit our luggage into our room the other passengers began to arrive: two married couples from Massachusetts; a couple with their teenage daughter; a couple from Newark, Ohio; an Ophthalmologist from New York City; and three women from Bellville, Illinois. Fifteen total.
Daniel and I immediately tried to figure out if there were any other gay people on the boat. We had some sneaking suspicions about the three women from Illinois (but to be honest, my "gaydar" does not work very well with women), all of who were single. But it appeared as if we would be the only "family" on board. This did little to alleviate my qualms of how well we would fit in with the others.
It soon became apparent that our fellow passengers would treat us like a "couple." I guess two men in their forties, both with pierced ears, traveling together are not quite the status quo.
The first person to broach the subject was Kathleen, the wife from Newark, Ohio. While she and I sat talking one morning she said, "Phil, you are the perfect person for me to ask! My 35 year old son, who lives in New York City and works at an art gallery, will be coming home soon for a visit... and I never know where to take him in Columbus. Some place that he would find interesting." A little while later she disclosed that her son was coming home with "his friend John."
Never once did she say the word gay. Neither did I. It was just understood.
Later in the day one of the "The Massachusetts Four" (two married couples) brought the subject up as well. Daniel, ever the polite one, had just offered to get Chris a cup of tea. As he walked away, Chris leaned over and whispered, "Are you two... together?"
The next night The Massachusetts Four collected money to tip the crew. Daniel wasn't there so I paid for both of us. About 15 minutes later Daniel showed up and asked how much money he owed. Chris looked at him and said, "your family is already paid for." I don't think she even realized what she had said.
The coast of Maine was beautiful. And being on the water was a wonderful experience that I hope to repeat many more times in my life.
But it was the people I met and the interactions we had that will linger in my mind. Whether it was Diane who showed me how to eat a freshly cooked lobster, Tony who was kind enough to teach me how to hold a fishing pole, Bill who joked about Ohio, or watching for shooting stars with Ed and the Massachusetts Four; it is the people I will remember. Their kindness, gentleness, and warmth. And their acceptance.
The cruise renewed my spirit and my faith in mankind... and that is what vacations should be about.
DAY ONE: TODAY: NATHAN BLACK sees "Dissolution of Political Bands."
THE AISLE SEAT: BRYAN POWERS looks at the new film, "ROUNDERS."
QUEER PLANET: PHIL MARTIN takes a Cruise with the Straights...
POWERSSOUND: BOB POWERS on new CD's from LISA GRAHAM, "GUITAR PETE" BRASINO, JAKE HANNA.
ON DRUGS: ADAM SMITH looks at the case of Oklahoma's Will Foster.
PLANETARY MADNESS: JENNIFER BLUE has your weekly horoscope on deck.
