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I turn on my Boob Tube Sunday night and there is Dr. Death himself, Jack Kervorkian, croakin' some guy right in front of God and all America for everyone to see!
Hell, this was better than the Pamela Anderson-Tommy Lee tapes!
Folks in the Trailer Park down here in Tejas been talkin' about nothing else ever since.
PLUS: You got Catholic priests taking out full page ads in Boston, other padres writing in to the New York Times, Mike Wallace having to defend the network before goin' to a black tie dinner in Manhattan! Whoo-ee! This is what TABLOID HART calls Real News!
G21 TABLOID HART means to look at the anomalies in American culture, the strange and all-too-coincidental interstices of success and destruction. Be here every week as we answer the questions enquiring minds have to ask.
Greetings, Sanitation Engineers! I think all of ya'll know as well as I do that sometimes you just have to be patient and wait for the Real Dirt to come your way. You can't always just stand there in the supermarket check-out line and have it fall right into your shopping cart, packaged as the penultimate Trailer Trash rag, our favorite,
The NATIONAL ENQUIRER.
Sometimes ya'll has got to wait around for just that right moment, when History, the Self-Aggrandizin' Impulse, and the November Sweeps all coalesce to bring you something special, something ineluctibly sensational, that true Epiphanous Moment of Out-and-Out Sleaze.
That agin' former-Superstar, Mike Wallace, can protest to High Heaven that the Kervorkian Minute was Important News which would Provoke a National Debate on Euthanasia --- BUT LET'S GET REAL.
You and I both know that it was about network ratings for a network that is being written off faster than Bill Clinton's new-found morality, Sanitation Engineers. CBS has been suckin' hind tit for years now, with the exception of all them old codgers tunin' into "60 Minutes," so they needed somethin' to put them back on the map.
How 'bout: "All Death, All the Time?"
NOW HEAR THIS: Our society is desensitized toward death, in all its forms, violent and nonviolent already. Your average child has seen 50,000 incidents of violent death on television by the age of 16. What Kervorkian did on CBS is piker stuff by that yardstick.
But we Norte' Americans have one of the worse ways of dealin' with death and aging and dying on the planet already. We almost despise our old folks, and show them no respect. We don't take mourning seriously at all: we want death out of site and out of mind as we continue this Forever Young mythology.
Dr. Death wants a euthanasia debate after the voters in his own home state already rejected the idea? Let him have at it. But there is no justification for CBS News and "60 Minutes" to give him more airtime than the dissidents in Burma(Myanmar.) Shame on you, CBS.
You are infringin' on my beat: trash news. Just admit it and be done with it! Don't trot out your high-priced-and-mighty talkin' heads to say it's anything else.
Kervorkian is threatening to starve himself over this? Great. More oxygen for those of us that don't want to kill people and who think life is a blessing.
Remember: It will take more than a few tornadoes to blow away all the trailer trash.Or maybe, "Welcome back to Death TV. Let's see who Dr. Jack gives the lethal injection tonight? Stay with us."
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