MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents"
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MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents" |
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AUSTIN, TEXAS - I was talking with our Publisher this past weekend about this here election and what us Trailer Park types is thinking. I called him because he lives in Maryland, one of the Super Tuesday primary states. As I figured, ole Rod had already gotten one of them computer-generated telephone calls that George Dubya is running in all the Super Tuesday states.
According to his here telephone message Senator John McCain had told the San Francisco Chronicle that he would uphold Roe - v. - Wade. Considering that Maryland is a premiere Catholic state here in the USA, this was supposed to tell folks that they ought not support McCain.
What the Republicavik presidential race is boiling down to these days, it seems to Tabloid Hart, is which of these two fellers can tar the other one with the worst pro-abortion, anti-Christian brush. And old George W. Bush, Jr. has got more money to pay for tar than John McCain.
Meanwhile, we got Pat Robertson and Jerry ("I love Tinky Winky") Falwell with their panties all in a twist over Senator John McCain calling them forces of Evil; we got George Dubya acting all righteous about campaign tactics; we got Al Gore doin' the macarena on Bill Bradley's face. Politics in America! It's any dumpster divers dream, ya'll!
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Event # 206: ANNIVERSARY WALTZ
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It's gottah make you wonder, don't it, the way the Republicavik candidates are falling all over themselves to prove who's more Christian than Thou, whether they completely forgot we us Buddhists, Zoroasterans, Jews, Muslims and members of other religious faiths in this country?
Ya'll notice during this week's back-to-back debates how nice Clinton Vice President Al Gore was to ole "Blue-nose Bill" Bradley. Al looked like the danged cat who swallowed the canary. Which he had. Bradley all but made his concession speech right then and there. While ole Al was saying, "I agree with Senator Bradley... I agree with Senator Bradley... I have to agree with Senator Bradley.." like he was a broken record.
Better yet, Al even went so far as to say "I agree with John McCain" a couplah times. What was he thinking, you might ask: "Hey, let's make it look like I like John McCain. That'll lose him the nomination, if nothing else will. Then I can beat George Dubya like a drum. Heheheh!"
That Al Gore, what a subtle sonuvagun.
After all, Senator John McCain is any Democravik's worst nightmare. He could actually win the White House, and ya'll know neither entrenched Washington party can afford to let that crap happen!
Now this here is the real kicker, fellow Sanitation Engineers:
Most of the political trash-talk and the very outcome of these two parties' Presidential nomination campaigns took place in states where less than 300,000 folks --- out of over 250 million in this danged country --- actually got a chance to vote. That's right: It's all gonnah be over on Stupor Tuesday when about 8 million more folks are expected to cast ballots. Then you and I just get to watch the Coronation Train take one of the Teacher's Pet darlings of the Cigar-smoking Fat Cats in Corporate Board Rooms on the express track into the White House and eat our lunch.
And that's the ideal of representative democracy that we expects the whole world to want to genuflect in front of. Lest I puke!
I don't know about ya'll but I think this Clown Show we call the electoral process here in the E-eyew Ess of Ay needs some serious re-vamping. We need another American Revolution where the danged monied interests don't call all the shots and where the Mouthpiece Media don't breathlessly act like something is happening that even matters to Jean and Joe Six-pack.
- We need us a party for the Average Working Stiff.
- We need to abolish the IRS.
- We need to stop writing blank checks for millionaire politicians in Washington, D.C.
- We need to run those out-of-work lawyers out of our nation's capital on a rail.
- We need two chickens in every pot, legal whore houses in every state, decriminalization of home-grown marijuana, a vote for every man and woman in the country, and free universal health care.
But are we gonnah get any of this stuff? Hell naw! Not as long as we let the Republicavik and Democravik ruling oligarchies keep their two-ring circus in charge of our gub'mint.
And I put all the emphasis in that word gub'mint on MINT. They even get to print their own danged money.
The Central Banking system is a sham and a shame and is there just to support the taxation-without-representation system under which most of us suffer.
I ain't telling ya'll anything you don't already know in your heart of hearts, I'm just lucky enough to be a columnist at a Web magazine courageous enough to let me say this kind of stuff.
Most of ya'll been saying this kind of stuff in the privacy (what's left of it) of your own homes for the last half century.
What chaps my ass is that too few of ya'll is willing to act on the impulse to make things change.
Well, down here in Bubbaland we have started to decide enough if enough. Especially if ya'll is stupid enough to let George Dubya get anywhere near 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
If that happens, expect to find my Tabloid butt moving to Canada.
REMEMBER: It will take more than a few tornadoes to blow away all of the trailer trash.
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