-> COVER -> TABLOID HART
AUSTIN, TEXAS - You want to be the King of Trailer Trash News? You gottah do a Trifecta.
Of course Rudy's estranged wife, ole Donna, lost no time in adding to the Jerry Springer-style festivities by having a danged press conference of her own where she basically said:
"Bill Clinton's got nuthin' on my man! This ain't the first time he's screwed around. And listen up, Miss Thang, you may be riding high right now but I know this man, and he will bimbo-erupt again! I tried to be a supportive political wife, but Rudy don't know when to keep it in his pants."
Now you know, fellow Sanitation Engineers, we was laughin' and tradin' high-fives all over the trailer park when that press conference was over.
The only really sad part of this here story, as far as Tabloid Hart is concerned, is that alll your Mouthpiece newspapers and outlets got it first, like the Washingtoon Post and the New Yawk Times. This story should have been broke by the nation's newspaper, The National Enquirer!
Are you as sick of the damned Dollar Bill family as I am? I thought so.
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You don't have to answer that.
If these here is the women who are supposed to be representing the view of the MOTHERS of America about gun control, and acting as their role models, SEND ME THAT DANGED NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION APPLICATION SHEET RIGHT NOW, YA'LL!!!
SIGN ME UP!!!
I don't get it! I certainly wouldn't have picked that crew to show the rest of America that there's a problem. Maybe there was something I missed on my local station down here in Tejas, but I don't think so.
Instead, once again, I got the feeling that your average American is being sold down the river to please the tastes of danged corporate darlin's and celebrities who wouldn't know a super-market scanner from a cell phone.
It's their danged country and they are --- begrudgingly --- still allowin' us to live in it. And Tabloid Hart, for one, don't think that's right at all.
REMEMBER: It will take more than a few tornadoes to blow away all of the trailer trash.
Mayor Rudy of New Yawk pulled that off this week and my Tabloid hat is off to him! Admit the prostate battle, kick the wife to curb without tellin' her first, then move on to a birthday party celebration with The Other Woman? Rudy has got Trailer Trash cajonés like nobody else out there! "Go Yankees!"
The only thang that makes me sad about this sordid tale of moral turpitude and feet of clay for this powerful politician is that he has now made it almost certain that that harridan from Hell, Hillary Rodham Clinton, will be the next Senator from New Yawk!
Even the most serious of commentators here, our Publisher, has pointed out that rich folks just got more rich under the Dollar Bill/Al Bore administration than even under Reagan-Bush. Does that spell "sell-out" of the middle class to you the way it does to me?
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Event # 215: DEFCON 4
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THE MILLION MOM DISGRACE
I don't know about where you live, Sanitation Engineer, but on my local TV channel when they did the coverage on that Million Mom March up in Washingtoon? You know who they showed as the headliners?
Now seein' these folks, I'm thinkin' to myself: "Okay. Dyke. Dyke. Pinko. Junkie Whore."