this week, has been flaunting his (alleged) liaison with one of the nefarious Spice Girls.
Knowing Bruce as we do, especially from Demi's divorce deposition, it would not be too much of a stretch to believe that he boffed this bimbo, Sanitation Engineers.
But Tabloid Hart didn't say that.
G21 TABLOID HART means to look at the anomalies in American culture, the strange and all-too-coincidental interstices of success and destruction. Be here every week as we answer the questions enquiring minds have to ask.
Meanwhile, I'm sure you want to know what's going on with
, Trailer Trash.
We have it on reliable authority that Geri is doing her best not to be part of the dole.
But she has not been so lucky, thus far. According to Tabloid Hart's sources, Geri has auditioned for a part in the upcoming "Charlie's Angels" film(Aaron Spelling gave her the thumbs down) and as a presenter of Brit' TV's Channel Four "Big Breakfast"(nixed.)
The final humiliation for the bim' was being beat out for the presenter job on Brit' TV's "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."
Vanna White Geri is not.
There are so many buck naked pictures of Geri on the 'Net that she should try for the Jasmine St. Clair category on "Jeopardy."
Tabloid Hart gives five-to-one on how long it takes before ya'll be saying "Geri Who?"
| Hey, Sanitation Engineers! Not tired of the dish yet?
Then ya'll are cordially invited to drop on in, and join, TABLOID HART's TRAILER PARK. We have a chat room, for when all of us is loitering there together. And I especially want ya'll to check the Trailer Park Discussion Area. Have a celebrity you hate? An idea as to what we oughtah do? Come on in! |
PAULA'S NEW PROBOSCIS
One of G21's favorite trailer trash celebrities, Paula Jones, revealed her new look this week, ya'll. Actually, I guess I should just say her new cosmetically-enhanced presence, Paula's nose.
The mystery is over. The living abomination went for the bobbed and open, rather than the Barbara Streisand look. In other words, no gristle, more thistle. 'Nuff said.
There is a reason God created VCRs, Sanitation Engineers. Think what our lives would be like if --- while we were pursuing our Day Job existence --- we missed what the other residents of the trailer park were experiencing.
Fact is, I got my VCR, my microwave, my home entertainment system, hooked into a LAN(local area network) that includes my alarm system and my light switches. Even your canniest burglar can't figure out when Tabloid Hart is in the double-wide, hackin' away on this keyboard, and when he is out at Antones' or Threadgill's kickin' up his heels. But don't try this at home. I am a trained professional.
Most of ya'll are here, Sanitation Engineers, to enjoy the fruits of my VCR programmin' as concerns "The Jerry Springer Show." So here's the dish:
This here last week was transsexual week, a.k.a "My Boyfriend is a Girl"/"My Girlfriend is a Man" week.
'Course, after watching all five hours of tapes, I'd assume this was Jerry's big pre-op transexual week. It was tawdry and sleazy and tons o' fun, as usual. What got to Tabloid Hart was how these pre-op' supposed women ACTUALLY SLEPT IN THE SAME BED with some of their men and these LOSERS couldn't figure out they still had something down there.
CLASSIC SPRINGER:
Jerry: What do you mean by "there?" Pennsylvania?
In other words, you didn't miss much!
AND REMEMBER: It'll take more than few tornadoes to blow away all the trailer trash....
TABLOID HART: THOMAS HART with a special Dish Update on Bruce Willis, former-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, Paula's new proboscis and The Jerry Springer Show.
QUEER PLANET: PHIL MARTIN looks to a gay political hero who handled privacy invasion with class. Are you listening, Mr. President?
DAY ONE: TODAY: ROD signs off and delivers the results of "Monicagate Poll" at the G21.
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