Generator 21 masthead.  
A spaceholder
MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents"
 
  
Home -> Main Event -> Charlie the Tuna

The Sex Column

PROPS TO DANNI

by Charlie the Tuna

G21 Irregular

To read this article in Deutsch, Francaise, Italiano, Portuguese, Espanol, copy and paste the complete URL("http://www.g21.net/tunanow.html") and enter it in the box after you click through.

SAN FRANCISCO - It's been a long exile.... but I been watching and waiting.

Danni Ashe head shotOver a year and a half ago, The Man, Charlie the Tuna, was kicked off these pages because of the Politically Correct team of writers Mr. Rod had gathered at the time. It seemed that after four years of appearing here every week, shedding my pearls of wisdom about the Real Deal between men and the Walking ATMs known as the "Fair Sex" I was no longer needed.

Like I said, I watched and waited. I figured when they brought on features like that Charlie the Tuna-wannabe, Tabloid Hart, and then stepped in it by featuring them Yugoslavian cry-babies, it was only a matter of time afore they'd come beggin' me to come back.

Why, Pilgrims? Because SEX SELLS. And you losers out there, tied to them apron-strings, was bound sooner or later to need a new dose of Tuna Time.

You heard me! I ain't stutterin'! You been askin' yourself ever since I left: "But what would a man do?"

And only Charlie the Tuna has the answers you want and need.

Photo of Danni AsheSo let's get this reunion offah the ground by paying tribute to my Queen of the Internet, the one and only DANNI ASHE!

Girl has got it goin' on!

How do I love Danni, let me count the ways:

  1. I love her madly because she has no problems admitting that what she has got is her money maker. Most dames pretend that they want you to love them for their "personality." ("Personality" is a damned synonym for a dog your friends want you to hook up with so the fat girl will stop askin' them to let her tag along.)
  2. I love her alarmingly because Danni don't make no bones about admitting that all men are dogs and are beggin' to be treated like open wallets.
  3. I love her badly because I'm so used to havin' harridans go after my latest paycheck that --- being the King of Dealin' with Golddiggers, I don't always have enough change left to give her what she really needs.
  4. I love her honesty about the economic arrangement with is Male-Female relationships.

In the Tuna Book of Love, Danni Ashe is All That.

The World's Magazine: g21.net

Event #168: Naked Came The Stranger

Fresh Upfront
A space holder




LAST WEEK's EDITION

For Deep Background visit the G21-Barnes & Noble Shop

OR get great books at the G21 BARNES & NOBLE SEARCH ENGINE

The Main Event



HOME

Danni Ashe gets more hits PER DAY than SLATE, SALON, & these here Oh-so-Erudite-and-Serious Columnists RodMan publishes at the G21 gets per month! No lie!

I won't say that ya'll paid for that cruise she went on last year, but you already know the truth.

And I can hear it already!

SQUEAKY WHINY VOICE: "Rah-od! Why did y ou let that a-hole Charlie the Tuna come back? Don't you know we hate him?"

MILQUE-TOAST VOICE: "Rod! My wife won't let me keep readin' the G21 if you publish Charlie the Tuna, I told you that!"

NASAL JERRY FALWELL-LIKE VOICE: "This is exactly what I would expect from a degenerate, radical magazine like the G21! These people on the Internet is why America is going to hell in a handbasket!"

And Charlie the Tuna says: SCREW YOU!

You don't have to be darn Rocket Scientist to know why most of ya'll come to the Internet, do ya'? Tell me you didn't start off looking for the Persian Kitty Website, Loser!

As always: Stay hard.

+++ The NEXT SEX COLUMN +++

+++ Home +++ MAIN EVENT +++ RECOMMENDED +++

© 1999, GENERATOR 21.

E-mail your comments. We always like to hear from you. Send your snide remarks to rod@g21.net.