From our Mailbag 08/21/03 - 09/09/03




by YOU

THE WORLD - From Rico W., Austin, TX, USA

Subject: where are you?

Hmm? I don't recall you ever asking that question before.

Where are you? You are here.

What are you doing here? Doing what you do.

Who are you? A man on a mission.

Why? I don't know. I'

ve heard it's all about the right questions. Who or what are good questions. Why is an onion. An infinite onion. It is a way of avoiding your Self.

The Four Agreements is an interesting book. From Publisher's Weekly: "A series of four 'agreements' are detailed, which make up a larger picture of unconditional human faith. Despite the New Age- sounding language, Ruiz is refreshingly clear in the presentation of his ideas."

First Agreement: Be impeccable with your word.

Second Agreement: Don't take things personally.

Third Agreement: Don't make assumptions.

Fourth Agreement: Always do your best.

Seems simple enough. It's a bitch. Try it on just for a day.

Believe it or not, I'm getting fairly good at the first two. The second one especially, the one that some think is the hardest. The others are more difficult for me. The hardest? Number 4 at what really matters. I can do a specified job my very best, but the other job, the being the best I can be as a soul, as a compassionate human being, as someone who looks at the suffering of those benighted in ignorance, arrogance, pride, fear and isolation and cannot find the words or the actions to offer solace, to show them the way to a salvation (and we're not talking Christ here) or if not salvation to an acceptance of the terrible beauty of their pain, to a place where laughter isn't derisive but is an acknowledgement and celebration of their suffering and joy, the joy of suffering and the suffering of joy? Ah, it takes me back to numbers two and three. Don't take their suffering personally and don't make assumptions about them needing salvation or commiseration. Each is an individual. Each has their own test with the agreements. Deal with what is happening with me here, now.

Namaste.
Ric


ROD RESPONDS: Ric,

Interesting thoughts and I'll give them my fullest consideration.

Meanwhile for context on "Where Are You": It's ubiquitous. From Oepidus to Christ's "Eli, Eli, Lama Sabactani?" (My God, My God, Why hast Thou forsaken me?" on the cross, the Cosmic Question (I posited in a 1996 essay) was "Where Are You?" The thesis of the essay was that too many writers got the CQ *wrong* by assuming that it was "Who Am I?" Most protagonists are fully self-conscious and self-aware. They are looking to complete Neumann's "worm Ouroboros" and can only fulfill that task by finding the "Other" or "You". Thus, the CQ, ipso facto, has to be - in my literary analysis - "Where Are You?"

My other readers will have to forgive me for getting into esoteric literary theory with this one.

Cheers,
Rod


From Bill P., Oakland, CA, USA:

TO: response@gambitweekly.com

SUBJECT: Reasonable Suspicion

I have known Rod Amis for 15 years.İİHisİhonesty & integrity are beyond reproach. There is no doubt in my mind he is a victim of racial profiling. Get real folks! If the NOPD saw two White men exchanging cash outside a store they would notİgive it a second thought. AİBlack man handing money to a younger White man does not fit into their limited concept of reality. Rod's only crime is walking while Black in racist America. This gross violation of Rod's civil rights is just another sad reminder of how far we, as a society,İhave to go before skin pigmentation is no longer a dominate factor of life in these Dis-United States.

Bill P.
Oakland, CA

still independent
still relevant

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ROD RESPONDS: Bill, thanks for your concern and support. I didn't even notice that response button until I got your copy of this e-mail. Good on ya!

Most compelling to me is that Whites have responded to this situation in so many ways -- as you'll see from the next e-mail I received here at G21 and from my comments in this week's GLASS HOUSE. That in of itself speaks to hope. [NOTE TO OTHER READERS: Yes, Bill is a white friend and excellent photographer and artist I've known for over a decade. He and his lovely wife and I met while I worked in California and I miss them greatly. He has personally been a source of rational advice more than one time I've been motivated to shoot myself in the foot. Maybe one day I'll live up to their lofty expectations of me. - RA]


From Ava B. H., Meraux, LA., USA:

SUBJECT: My N.O.P.D. Story

Dear Rod:

I just finished reading your story in the Gambit Weekly dated Monday, September 2, 2003. Let me tell you what happened to me. On Saturday, April 5, 2003 I was arrested by the N.O.P.D. The circumstances surrounding my arrest are so far-fetched that my family and inner circle of friends are absolutely dumbfounded. At approximately 9:45 P.M. I was traveling down Almonaster Boulevard (which is in the industrial section of New Orleans East). I approached the intersection of Almonaster Boulevard and Gentilly Road and at that intersection there is a traffic signal. The traffic signal was flashing red so I slowed down looked both ways and proceeded through the intersection. I was the ONLY vehicle on Almonaster Boulevard... the ONLY vehicle in sight. As I crossed through the intersection and approached the "Chalmette" entry I noticed a vehicle (which came out of no where) following close behind me with flashing red and white lights. I immediately began to think, "Oh my God, the Louisiana serial rapist.".

I immediately contacted the St. Bernard Parish police department and asked them for assistance because someone was following me and I was not sure whom or why. I couldn't imagine this being the police because I was not speeding nor did I break any traffic laws. The dispatcher with the sheriff's department asked for my name, cell phone number and vehicle identification. I was relatively calm while on the cell phone with the dispatcher but I soon began to cry because my two children ages 5 & 7 were sobbing uncontrolably and begging me to stop the car but I explained to my children "Mommie has done nothing wrong, I don't know who this is trying to stop us, St. Bernard will intercept us and then we will stop."

You must keep in mind, while traveling up the Paris Road bridge, down the bridge and to St. Bernard Parish there is NO safe area to stop, NO retail shops, nothing but marsh land on the right hand side of Paris Road. I stayed in the right hand lane the entire time. All I wanted was either a St. Bernard deputy or a well lighted area so that I could safely stop.

The St. Bernard dispatcher asked me if I thought it could be a police officer trying to stop me, I replied, "I just don't know." What was confusing to me was I only saw red and white lights. No blue lights. The vehicle began shining a very bright light on my face and I thought I was going to crash. For a few seconds, I was literally blinded by the light. I was boxed in by a white Chevrolet Pick-up truck and forced to the side of the road. A New Orleans Police Officer began to try to break the window out of my vehicle with his gun. He beat my window continuously with that gun and all I could think of at the time was, "Oh, my God, this glass is going to shatter in my face and cut me and my kids." I stopped, tried to put my car in park and was trying to unbuckle my seat belt. At this time the officer had his revolver drawn and pointing at the proximity of my head. I had made it into St. Bernard Parish and noticed the St. Bernard deputies running toward me to assist. I was pulled out of my car by the N.O.P.D. and thrown to the side of my car and arrested. They asked me if I had ever been arrested before. The St. Bernard deputies began telling these officers, "Man, this is a scared mother with kids in her car, she was on the phone with our dispatcher. She was going to stop when she came to a lighted area." And of course the N.O.P.D. yelled at them to get away, "This is OUR investigation!!"

By this time, there existed approximately six police cars, bright lights and traffic stopped to an almost crawl with gawkers and on-lookers. The New Orleans' officer had yelled and screamed at me like I have never heard anyone talk to anyone before. I was finally told by the officers that they only wanted to talk to me because I had not come to a COMPLETE stop at the Almonaster Boulevard intersection... (remember the intersection with the flashing red lights??) I explained to him that I was scared, did not know who or why someone was trying to stop me, that I had done nothing wrong. I would have gladly accepted a traffic citation from the officers that night for "not coming to a complete stop" at that intersection. In the Times Picayune and in the news, Marlon Defillio with the N.O.P.D. has stated on numerous occassions for people to travel with caution especially ladies at night. He has said for people not to stay stopped at a red traffic light in the city at night time because of the potential for carjacking but to rather proceed with caution and that if someone tries to pull you over, proceed to the nearest "well lighted" area. He claims the "officer" will understand. Well that is a LAUGH. The officer called me stupid and told me to shut up. The charges that were brought against me that night are a joke.

I thought I did everything right ... WRONG! The N.O.P.D. did not and would NOT listen to a thing I had to say. Once the handcuffs were placed on my wrists, my car was searched and my license plate and driver's license was called in. The only thing I had in my car was two crying children and a Scooby-Doo umbrella. As I was sitting in the back of the police car, I heard the New Orleans' deputies discussing the matter saying, "Man, she's clean, she aint got nothin on her, no priors, she aint screaming, banging her head or cuttin up, what you wanna do?" I thought for sure they had realized that they made a terrible mistake and would release me. One of my handcuffs was loose and I took my hand out to scratch my nose, held my hands in front of me and said, "Officer, I don't want to get you in trouble but you might want to put this back on." He looked at me and said, "Now, we got you on simple escape, your going downtown." I was placed in the police car and driven to downtown New Orleans. I was so scared. I have always been a seatbelt advocate and was being driven to jail without a seatbelt on. I thought for sure that my life was going to end that night in a terrible automobile accident and that I didn't have the protection of my dear seatbelt. Being caged like an animal in the back of a police car with your hands TIGHTLY secured behind your back in handcuffs is no picnic. Especially when I did not have the use of my hands to secure myself in the event of a tire blow-out or an auto accident.

Once the officers arrived at their destination with me I asked, "Can you please tell me where I am?" They replied, "Central Lock-up". My response was, "You guys have made a terrible mistake". They looked back at me and laughed and said very cockily, "No we haven't!" Once in jail, I was photographed, questioned and placed in a cell with other people. I thought for sure that I was going to get beaten up by the rough characters in the cell. I stood in someone's urine for thirty minutes because there was no place for me to sit down on the benches provided. Everyone was either sleeping or just laid out on the bench. Anyone can take one look at me and know that I did not belong in such an awful place. Several people asked me what I was in jail for, I told them in basically twenty seconds the story of my arrest. The look on their faces told me everthing I needed to know. One of the gentlemen, I will never forget his face starting yelling and wanted to see the file on my arrest, the civil sheriff employee handed it over, the gentleman read it and starting shouting, "This is f------ up!, This is f----- up! Who did this to her?" He looked at me and assured me that I should have never been arrested and that it was going to get straightened up fast.

It has now been almost five months, I will no longer travel down Almonaster Boulevard. My children still have nightmares and are scared of the N.O.P.D. cars. They frequently ask me, "Mommie, do you have to go back to jail?" I still have trouble sleeping at night.

I am a college educated white woman. I co-own two successful businesses. I drive a Lexus SUV. Until that night, I was never arrested before in my life. I have no traffic citations. I do not drink, I do not smoke, I do not do drugs. Until that night, I had absolutely no blemishes against myself or my character. I have always lived my life as a model citizen.

In case you are wondering, I was traveling down Almonaster Boulevard trying to avoid the interstate traffic. I was returning from the Clearview movie theater. My husband was in another vehicle traveling behind me. I did not see him. I think he was held up by a train or something. We had left the movie theater at the same time. We were in separate cars because my husband owns a business in Metairie and my children and I met him in Metairie instead of him having to travel to our home in Meraux to pick us up. You guessed it. My husband now makes the 20 mile plus trip back to our house on Saturday night to pick us up for our Saturday night ritual to the movie theatre.

Oh and by the way, my husband witnessed everything that happened that night with the revolver to my head, etc... As I was pulled out of my car, My husband was driving up to the scene. This situation bothered my husband so much that he contacted the Seventh District supervisor the following afternoon, asking for the protocol regarding our children. My husband removed my children from my car and safely placed them in his vehicle, all the while they were crying and trying to reach out to me screaming "Mommie!"

At no time did these officers ask my husband for his identification. He could have been any crazy lunatic off of the street who happened to witness everything and kidnap my children. These officers watched my children being escorted from my vehicle and no one asked me if I could confirm the identity of the man as being my husband, the children's father. Remember, these officers would not listen to anything I had to say, I did not matter to them. The safety of my children did not matter to them. What would have happened to my children, if the man who was taking them wasn't really my husband, their father? What would have happened to my children if my husband would not have been present? My husband tried to explain to the supervisor the events of the previous night. You will be surprised to know that the supervisor was already aware of the lady in the Lexus and said, "We knew who she was, we knew that she was talking on the phone with St. Bernard Parish trying to get to a lighted area." Well you tell me, if they already knew, then why in the hell was I put through the torture and humiliation of that night. Why was I and my children subjected to this terrible fiasco?

Before my husband's conversation with Seargeant Mimm's of the Seventh District, we had both assumed that the N.O.P.D. took the steps they deemed necessary because they didn't know who was in the vehicle, if the vehicle had been stolen or if a crime of some sort had been committed.

In closing, I believe the events of that night happened to me for a reason. It may have been the way of God trying to tell me to stay off of Almonaster Boulevard because something in the future was going to happen really bad to me on that stretch of roadway. I can't change the events of that night but I have learned from them. I would never want the job of a police officer because of the dangers they must face on a daily basis, especially in the city of New Orleans. I just wish that all police officers could receive the proper training necessary to make a distinction between the good guys and the bad guys. I was treated so rudely, harshly and cruel that night. I did not deserve this mess, neither did my children or husband. If anyone in the police force should happen to read this e-mail, please don't do to any other women what was done to me. What if the officer's gun had fired? He could have shot my face off or killed one of my children.

I wish you well in defending yourself and clearing your name. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck!!

Sincerely yours,
Ava B. H.

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