From B. L. [No City Provided], USA:

I am an active pageant contestant whose mother has nothing to do with it. Since the death of JonBenet, pageants have gone through a media blender. Pageants have nothing to do with her death!! Her death was caused by a stupid, abusive father!! Why does everyone believe that all girls are being pushed through pageants? Maybe some of the girls and boys actually like to be in pageants. Pageants have made me more confident, graceful, and poised. It also builds college scholorship and tuition money. Pageants are life expieriences that help young people to grow in their family life, academic life, and community life. The rude people making these comments have most likely never competed making them uneligible to even make these comments.

No Bud Light, No More Promos...

Given the dangers of wartime communication (even though it is just the Mid-East's Beavis and Butthead) we must be brief, but as always, full details on all our latest developments can be found at the http://stiffs.com/whatsnew.html page. In short, here's what's up:

1. You can now save money on multiple Lee Jr. entries, at least until we are overrun by infidels (see http://stiffs.com/patriotic.html).
2. You can support the war effort and thumb your nose at whoever the bad guys are by giving Stiffs Certificates to all your friends and countrymen (go to http://stiffs.com/stuff.cfm).
3. You can now reach us by snail mail at our new, Top-Secret, Ultra- Military Complex at the following address:

but for God's sake, don't tell anyone. And one more thing to keep under your hat is that even if we win the war, this may be the last month we'll be able to offer the $1000 Lee Jr. first prize, so take advantage of the offer mentioned above while you can. Rationing, you know.

Godspeed,
Zachariah Love, Commissioner
Drew Scharlatt, Two-Time Champion
and Greg Hicks, Bartender
The Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool
http://stiffs.com

Adam Smith Does Good...

Adam,

Just read your column on G21. It's your best effort so far, written with passion and anger. Great job!


From David M., [No City Provided], USA:

I was convicted of the importation of 12 kilos of marijuana from Mexico. Since the inception of Prop 215 I have had a legitimate prescription for the medical use of marijuana for a severe eye injury. I witnessed such atrocities being perpertrated by our government in their war on drugs that I have lost all faith in the government. I became witness to violations of international, constitutional and human rights laws while an inmate in federal prison that now leads me to believe that we live in a lawless country unless the law allows the government to usurp the majority vote. When the keepers of the law become more lawless and criminal than the people they arrest isn't the law a moot point? The law is used only as a convenience for the government's own propagation. The law is used only to oppress, no longer used as it was intended. What can an ordinary citizen do when the law is violated by the authorities? I witnessed many hundreds of people whose rights were completely violated with no recourse for them to rectify the situation. What can be done? Must we all live in fear of the totalitarian state? I feel exactly the same as Peter McWilliams. Although I am an unknown person I suffer the same indignities as he and his freinds. Thank God I was only sentenced to a period of 10 months incarceration. However they will 10 irreplaceable months that I will lose forever. My children and my parents will also suffer for this period of time as well. I am a peaceful and happy person now to be subjected to the most violent and unhappy place on this earth. For my crime of self-medication, I will be degraded and de-humanized. I hereby urge all people to vote Libertarian so that we may see and end to this outrageous "war".

Peace and Joy,
David M.

Thomas Hart is Called Out...

Hi Rod,

I just finished reading Tabloid Hart's rant about Woody Allen. I just can't take anybody who didn't like the "Purple Rose of Cairo" or "Broadway Danny Rose" or "Annie Hall" or "Bullets Over Broadway" seriously. Why would anybody think that the characters Allen creates and sometimes portrays on screen have anything to do with who he might actually be in real life. In fact, I don't really care who Woody Allen might really be off the screen or stage and I don't see why it is so important to scores, if not thousands, of other folks who don't know him and may never meet him.

Darryl C.


THOMAS HART RESPONDS: Mr. C., thanks for reading TABLOID HART and for coming back to the G21. I've seen your letters on this page before, so I know your what our Esteemed Editor calls a "Loyal Reader."

I didn't see most of those movies you mention, because I think Woody Allen is an over-rated, self-obsessed, over-sexed jerk. This was confirmed for me once I did see "Zelig." (Gag me!) Tabloid Hart makes it a point of not seeing any movies with Mia Farrow in them because her whiney voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard, far as I'm concerned. So when the two of them teamed up, I had two good reasons to avoid the Woodman's schtick.

Of course, as I am a true Sanitation Engineer, Woody did interest me once he schlepped young Sun Yi out of the cradle under Mia's nose. The only person I can think of who's more of a creep than Woody Allen is probably... Lorne Michaels.

More from Rod's Spam Box

Todd Brendan Fahey's hotly controversial underground novel Wisdom's Maw, which "factionalizes" the CIA's MK-ULTRA acid tests of the 1950s/60s, has drawn a look from Oliver Stone. Mr. Stone, via Illusion Entertainment, reportedly read one of the many reviews to-date of Wisdom's Maw, published in August 1996, and summoned Illusion representative Eddie Kisch to fetch a copy of the novel.

As screen-rights to Wisdom's Maw continue to be mulled over by directors and industry execs, Todd Brendan Fahey has begun penning the screenplay to his "acid novel."

Fahey's major-role casting choices for the big-screen version of Wisdom's Maw are said to be thus:

• Aldous Huxley: Peter O'Toole
• Franklin Moore: Craig Sheffer (A River Runs Through It)
• MK-ULTRA Chief, Dr. Sheldon Gottfried: Roy Scheider
• Lorraine Devlin-Moore: Kate Winslet
• Gen. George Creasy: Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket)
• Jack Kerouac: Randy Quaid
• Neal Cassady: Willem Dafoe
• "Captain" Al Hubbard: Ed Asner

A Ph.D. candidate in English at University of Southwestern Louisiana, Todd Brendan Fahey was forced to self-publish a manuscript which had circulated around Manhattan for a half-decade, with the aid of two major-name agents, but which was ultimately deemed "libelous and unpublishable" by nearly 200 American and UK publishing houses (source: Mitchell Landsberg, Associated Press).

Fahey's novel was begun while pursuing the Master's degree at University of Southern California, under the direction of Hubert Selby, Jr. (Last Exit to Brooklyn). Village Voice book reviewer Tom Dolby wrote, of Wisdom's Maw: "Fahey paints a vast tableau which includes virtually every major political and pop-cultural figure of the 1960s--from Jack Kerouac to Jack Kennedy, Aldous Huxley to Hunter S. Thompson... Do we smell a movie deal cooking with the acid?"

Since its August 1996 publication, Wisdom's Maw has drawn over 40 reviews in mainstream and alternative periodicals, including USA Today, High Times, Mondo 2000 and HotWired.

Says the author, "At 33, I've spent a third of my life on this project, and I'm in it for the long haul. I'd love for Oliver Stone to take it. But I'd also like to see Stanley Kubrick direct. Some old acidhead will pick it up."

####

Contact:
Todd Brendan Fahey
c/o Far Gone Books
P.O. Box 43745
Lafayette, LA 70504-3745
(318) 261-1946
toddfahey@hotmail.com (please respond to this e-address)
Please Visit the Award-Winning Far Gone Books/Wisdom's Maw Web site: http://www.fargonebooks.com

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