FROM OUR MAILBAG 11/25 - 12/08/98:
It's HUGE BLUSH Time Again...
From Elizabeth E., University of New Mexico, USA:
I stumbled across your site and wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed the satire. I have put your site on my favorites so I can enjoy your Casts again. Would love to be able to print them and send them to my friends, but will have to content myself with Emailing your website address. Thanks for your witty and PERCEPTIVE material.
ROD RESPONDS: Elizabeth,
Thanks for visiting the G21 and for writing! Wow! It's so nice to get encouragement like your letter.
All too often, I get to hear what we "shoulda/coulda/woulda" done, instead of what we do right, or that we are *fun*, so it means a lot.
Please do tell ALL your friends. Our advertisers would appreciate it. 
But Not Everybody Thinks We "Get It"...
From Rico, Austin, TX, USA:
Speaking of socialism and revolution, a few items: The line that I always thought most profound in the Who's "Don't Get Fooled Again" was "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss." Gil Scott Heron said, "The Revolution will not be televised." From this I always took it that the media "mediated" revolutionary fervor, that songs like the Who's really provided an outlet that circumvented real revolution. Something to the effect that real revolutionaries don't talk about it, they do it, and as long as you're mediating it ain't gonna happen.
I believe it was that famous Irishman Oscar Wilde who said of socialism, something to the effect: "I couldn't be a socialist, too many meetings."
Libertarians: Birchers with their balls cut off. Charlie the Tuna once told me in private conversation that he'd be at the revolution, "If the liquor's free and the women are prone." Now that's the voice of "da people."
"By any means necessary." I'm sure Malcolm would disagree with you today--if he was still alive.
Or is it Mao's maxim, garbled in my laziness: "Truth blooms from the mouth of a gun?"
But, generally, I like compassion. It is one aspect of heart-speak that is good. Other parts of heart-speak, like jealousy, envy, self-righteousness, and covetousness, I wish would visit me less often. (People speak of THE heart as if it were a single entity--part of the monolithism of this "mediated" culture--one god, one nation, one way, one Me--when we are so much more, so poly in our natures.) And there really is more compassion in the world today.
But you, no different in methods and paradigm if not superficial content than the mainstream media, point out the negatives of the world (as I am here doing to you--mea culpa). Hey, it sells, right? If not in money, in kudos, in a slap on the back and a "Right on, brother. Slam it to the Man."
Compassionate necessity. But, like Elvis Costello said: "What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understandin'?"
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." Question is, "What's the problem with the problem?" Paradox abhors THE truth.
As Michael Jordan says, "If "if" was a fifth, we'd all be drunk." So, we've heard the rhetoric, what's the plan? Meanwhile I'm with the complex, anarchist spirit of Patti Smith who sang, "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine." Lord, save us from the salvationists. Millions upon millions of cleansed "sinners" can't be wrong.
Real advice to a young revolutionary? "An army marches on its stomach," so go down to the Salvation Army and volunteer to spoon up a few bowls for the women and children left homeless by any number of circumstances, most associated with that oldest of non-denominational demons: alcohol. There are more than enough PR wags to go around. What the revolution needs is your hands reaching out, your eyes looking into the eyes of another human, not a screen, not a concept, not a class, not a race, sex, or ism, but a human, and asking what you can do to help that human right now, here, today, in the present. That's a revolution. "You say you want a revolution . . . ." John Lennon.
Peace.
Rico
ROD RESPONDS: Brother, you've covered so much ground here, from my one little burble about Socialism R' Us that I'd have to write a whole new essay just to respond to it all!
And how dare you mention Charlie the Tuna? Haven't you heard he's been exiled from this pages?
So I'll just say this: You ever notice how compassionate people have whiter teeth, drive better cars, and generally live longer than those schnooks who complain about compassion-fatigue, or people who are always looking out of number one? Yeah. Me, too.
Like why are Michael Keaton and Harrison Ford so popular? Because they always play the Nice Guy. So don't let anybody tell you nice guys finish last.
From Bryan K., [No City Provided], USA:
I see that from your webpage you like to curse Americans for what they have and how well off they have it. Screw you asshole! Who do you think funds the IMF? Does the Philippines loan money to the U.S. or is it vice versa? How about international aide to all the other stinking countries? I've been to the Philippines twice, and yes they do have it bad. But you know what, its not from what others have done to them, its what they are not willing to do for themselves. They are the ones with the corrupt government, and a backward ass society. And don't talk shit to me about being a greedy fat capitalist either. I realize that I have it better than most people, but you know what? I did something about it. Last Thanks Giving I brought three kids back from the Philippines aged 12, 10, and 9, and adopted them. Now what have you done? So stop your bullshit and stop talking out of your ass. Until you have done something for them people yourself, you got no right to call me a spoiled American punk! You ignorant ass!
[NOTE: Raoul Tesla, the author of the referenced article, was not able to respond in time for publication. We strongly suspect Mr. Tesla will have something to say about this e-mail by our next edition. --- Ed.]
I get it now: We're so damned popular that other sites look at The World's Magazine as a place to submit their advertising...
From "Hemorrhoy Rogers", [NO CITY PROVIDED], USA:
Generator??? You have a cool site here. Rocks. Here is some crazy stuff for you - you rock my little pathetic world! You might not like this but Hey! What? This sucks. I am truly sorry for sending you this thihnsg;l -
Please give us press NOW or not.
* * * A T T E N T I O N * * * A T A M T I O B * * * H E Y * * * Y O U ! ! ! * * *
Dear Reader of This Message,
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Right here:
http://home.earthlink.net/~lobstar
On this site you will discover fun games, thrilling stories, and those AMAZING sound files that sound like sh*t on your cheap computer speakers just the way we like it! We swear that you'll twist a bowel from screaming in glee at songs like "Monkey Madness," "Kid Headly: The Dog with the Enormous Head," and "I Wanna Eat That Stuff There NOW!" The sound files are being constantly updated - so hurry up and hurry back! We aren't out to make money (at least not from this crap) - we're out to go to the bathroom NOW! SOON!
* * * WE GUARANTEE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD MUSIC LIKE THIS (UNLESS YOU'VE HEARD FRANK SINATRA OR THE ROLLING STONES OR SOME COMMERCIAL I SAW YESTERDAY)! JUST LISTEN TO ONE SONG AND TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT OR RUN TO THE BATHROOM! * * *
Please check it out, and, if you want, include it on any links list you have or simply tell your parents. I, Hemorrhoy Rogers, give my personal assurance that I will ROCK YOUR WORLD, or I will ROCK YOUR DOG'S WORLD!!!
Very sincerely,
Hemorrhoy Rogers
lobstar@earthlink.net
From Chris K., [NO CITY PROVIDED], USA:
Greetings!
We are kicking off Bonus.com's First Annual Holiday Fun & Games Countdown and thought you and your visitors might enjoy playing :)
From Thanksgiving to New Year's Day, count down to the holidays by taking a trip to Bonus.com the SuperSite for Kids (http://www.bonus.com) where a daily dose of winter cheer is only a mouse-click away.
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Top players win great prizes (and we will be giving out hundreds of them); including toys and software from Crayola and IBM, Star Wars Droidworks adventure games from Lucas Learning Ltd., toy cars from Chevron Cars, hundreds of free subscriptions to Surf Monkey's new interactive web browser for kids, gift certificates from Brainplay.com and other special treats.
Best of all, new players can join up at any time!
Please let me know if you have any questions.
Happy Holidays!!!
Sincerely,
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Bonus.com the SuperSite for Kids
http://www.bonus.com
I get it now - Part 2: Earthlink is the Home of Spammers and they ALL have my e-mail address...
From Michael R., [NO CITY PROVIDED], USA:
This e-mail is to inform you that the publication "Why Rush Limbaugh Is Wrong or, The Demise of Traditionalism And The Rise of Progressive Sensibility" (retail $16.00 hardcover) is now available for FREE to read on-line or download at:
http://home.earthlink.net/~mightypen/
It was deemed this publication might be of interest to you, either for review on your website or simply for your own reading pleasure.
In addition to Limbaugh, the book covers such topics as: the separation of church and state, sex education, doctor-assisted suicide, drug legalization, animal rights/compassion, the environment, feminism, abortion, welfare & illegitimacy, prison rehabilitation, the death penalty, gun control, affirmative action, gay rights, homelessness, government reform, partisanship, progressivism vs. traditionalism, as well as other important issues.
If you'd like to post any of the chapters to your own website, please e-mail me so I can send you a html text document, etc.
Please FORWARD this message to any friends, family members or acquaintances you think might be interested in reading "Why Rush Limbaugh Is Wrong" at http://home.earthlink.net/~mightypen/
Sincerely,
Michael R
Mighty Pen Publishing
*Is this spam? You can probably decide that better than I can. I assumed it wasn't because I'm not selling anything, simply giving it away for free, and because I only sent this e-mail to people I thought might be genuinely interested in reading this publication. If you disagree, then I do apologize.*
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