MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents"
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MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents" |
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Kudos, brickbats, spam, you'll find it all right here. We publish everything that comes to our mailbox.
This is where our readers and writers get to talk to each other.
Enjoy!
From "Mr. Advice," [No City Provided,] Tejas, USA:
SUBJECT: BOGOTA? No, Moscow!
No, no. Think Russia. Think Rumania. Hell, think Korea, Thailand. No, Russia. Beautiful. Blond. Intelligent. Can kick Nazi butt. Can keep you warm during long, cold, lonely nights. And they can hold their vodka. Boy, can they hold their vodka.
I'm telling ya, it's you all over.
Rod and Russia. Rodya?
There's a message there.
It's so bizarre it makes sense.
And your appetite? The doctor, yes? You have made an appointment? Good. After that you check out Dr. Zhivago's niece. Da.
Love,
Mr. Advice
From Ron D. Raleigh, NC, USA:
I like especially the material you wrote.
Remarks: [1] - yes, I was disappointed that you did not continue the humor in G21, but would not take you to task for it or complain BECAUSE I assume that you had REASONS for doing that. That is good enough for me.
Further on the American Empire, the so-called Pax Americana - see the new issue of Z for more details on US adventurism in South America.
But here is one datum that I really like. It is the proof that life is cheap, very cheap, almost worthless in the good ol' U S of A. The slayings in Littleton Colorado that had the media so stirred up - press and TV and talk radio, etc. - well, my friend, on the average seventeen to nineteen children PER WEEK in the U S of A are killed either by a family member or by someone very close, an intimate, of the family. Most with guns. But we have to lay it on the high school kids, it is THEIR problem, what are we going to do about these KIDS and their LAWLESSNESS. Note that it is the adults who are killing the kids week in and week out. One week a year, the kids imitate the adults and get slammed for it.
Another datum: schoolbus safety belts. A small thing. Would save approximately 3000 serious injuries per year, in one estimate that I heard. No schoolbus has safety belts for the children (the adult driver, of course, YES). Why is that? Because they cost over $3 per child to install. They are TOO EXPENSIVE. It is too costly to install $3 seat belts for children, so let 'em continue to get killed and maimed in the buses. Life is very cheap in the U S of A.
What would you do about the 42,000 people who are killed on the highways every year? Do you find that an acceptable "loss"? The governments and people of the U S of A don't even apologize for killing that many people per year on the highways. What if we found out that escalators were killing 42,000 people per year? would we hold the escalator builders accountable? These lousy automobiles produced by GMC and Ford and Daimler/Chrysler - is this the best we can expect? If so, why aren't they shut down as a public nuisance? Why, you ask? Because life is just that cheap in the good ol U S of A. We accept death, destruction, maiming of human flesh - because we are an advanced civilization, far progressed beyond the Second World, Third World, primitive cultures.
[2] The weekend's news about the birthday of the Internet, with the installation at UCLA of the networking device to tie to ARPANET. Well, thirty years ago, I was at Harvard when Harvard and MIT were hooked up to ARPANET through arrangements with EDUCOM - just as the U of Pennsylvania and Princeton and many, many others were. The news reporters - without so much as a check of the record - said repeatedly that NO ONE SUSPECTED at the time that this was the first step to a radically new way of communicating. Bullshit, my friend, bullshit! Most of the people involved were fully aware of how revolutionary this might be, as machines were getting smaller and more numerous. Dozens of people that I knew in Cambridge were fully aware that this would have an enormous impact on telephony and on switching. I find it disgusting that reporters time after time assume that people thirty, fifty, seventy, a hundred, a thousand years ago were so damned stupid that they could not realize what was going on around them - but of course, the reporters, they understand it all, past and present and future.
Do you realize that if we had manual telephone switching today - the sort that existed when telephone operators had to stretch a wire across a board and make a manual connection - it would require roughly the adult population of the USA to do the switching? That is crazy, of course, because if everyone were doing switching, who would we be doing it for?
Hey, Rod, what can I say? I am having a bad day, OK?
Ron D.
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From Ric W., Austin, TX, USA:
Rod:
Such chasteness I can only bow to in humble acknowledgment of its complete misreading of the Southern genteel myth. Because you are a Southerner I assumed you were just keeping the Yankees in the dark. And you should've gone on to explain that while Southern gentlemen do not touch on the first date, they certainly do expect complete unilateral oral satisfaction by the third. And by the fifth if the woman doesn't willingly take on you and your best friend in a no-holes-barred menage, then the wench doesn't know the meaning of true love. Remember, we know that Southern women don't SAY fuck, they just FUCK. That's why Clinton didn't understand all the fuss. If he didn't talk about it then it didn't happen. Very Southern. Very Baptist. Now cracker white trailer trash like Paula Jones was led to her betrayal of Southern morality because of California Republican money. Now some readers may think I'm joshin', but you know I'm dead serious. And due to my loyalty to Southern chivalry I completely deny this missive was ever sent. If it ever sees the light of day it is only because of Yankee duplicity and technological skullduggery. A right wing Yankee conspiracy I tell you.
Sic semper tyrannis,
Ric
From Andrew R. [No City Provided,] USA:
I would like to see an article(s) on American troops in Bosnia.
ROD RESPONDS: Andrew, thanks for writing. Duly noted. I'll see what our European correspondents can come up with over the next few months.
From George G., [No City Provided,] USA:
h3y,
as the progenitor of some small time recording projects that do not exist outside a studio. i'd like to say that the piece "You're Not Getting Old(The Music Just Sucks) by JEFF WINBUSH" was a beautiful rant. thank you for making my morning.
peace,
doc
From David B., [No City Provided,] USA:
Face it, you're in love with Paula Jones, like Bubba was, but you fight temptation with contempt. She's not too good lookin'. But I'll bet she could suck the bell off a billygoat. (Or a Billyclinton)
From Ric W., Austin, TX, USA:
Well, Kevin, the key here is that notions of what is wise or foolish change almost as quickly as the opinions of pop stars on what constitutes cool eye fashion. The Constitution can be changed, but with great difficulty. Some amount of inconsistency is more tolerable than the inhuman absolutism of arbiters of popular wisdom. Falwell is an idiot entitled to his opinion. He's been spouting his crap for years and will continue to do so until he dies and his spirit moves on to some other fear-fed dogmatist of Christ. The dogma of modern Christianists and the dogma of Marx or Donald Trump stem from the same unconsciousness. We could go on and on about internal and external individuation processes. But basically the Constitution keeps us safe from either Christian or Marxist or Fascist salvationists. Eventually maybe even the multinational corporations will develop a sense of balance. America is a country of colorful cranks, sometimes dangerous, but mostly just fodder for journalists and artists. It's better than talking about dialectics or dianetics all day. The Constitution is flawed, but so are we. I hope to the Mysteries that it stays that way. Purists in power scare the shit out of me.
Namaste,
Ric W.
KEVIN CAREY RESPONDS: Beware the false dichotomy of either having something or not having it; most countries which have constitutions ignore them, sadly. Many countries without constitutions - e.g. my own [The United Kingdom-Ed.] - live reasonably civilised lives; we jut spend more of our political energy being pragmatic; but the Americans are welcome to their Cincinnatus as long as it doesn't damage people outside America; a weak America means a poorer world.
From Ric W., Austin, TX, USA:
Well, I agree that either/or can be problematic. It is, however, the prevailing philosophical assumption in the West. I confess I do prefer both/and (as does the Constitution). But idealism is the bugaboo we're talking here.
Sometimes ya got it and sometimes ya don't. Say with AIDS or multiple gunshot wounds to the chest cavity. (Ooh, cheap shot. Logic is such a slippery philosophical tool. The ideal situation is not to be too idealistic. Hang loosely to your dogmas. Be always on the look out for your a priori assumptions about your myths of reality. Exercise a little self-deconstruction every now and again to keep the ego aware of who's really in control. I love that part in Apocalypse Now: "Who's in charge?" "I thought you were." You don't have to worry about our right to bear arms causing havoc in the world--we just kill each other. I find it amusing, this defense of the right to bear arms to keep the big bad government at bay. Like a deer gun is gonna stop a frickin' F-14 or an armored personnel carrier. What a crock.) Pragmatically speaking, as in realpolitik, constitution schmonstitution, he who has the bucks generally "gets whats they wants." Face it, if you really threaten the powers that be, you're toast. Period. Anywhere in the world. What did Mao say about the mouth of a gun? Now, every once in a while, in a confluence of events that seem self evident in retrospect (cause and effect always works backwards, thus another problem with either/or constructs): revolutions can happen. Witness the disintegration of the Soviet Union. Although, there were wags in the late '60s who said if we really wanted to beat the Russians all we had to do was drop Levi's and copies of Playboy and it would all be over in a jiffy. Being in the midst of the beast, it's interesting to get an outside view of the ol' USA. But America is a complex critter. Frankly, most Americans don't give a flying flip what anybody thinks. Frankly, most Americans don't think--just like the rest of the world. Their lives involve the acquisition of the three squares, watching the jigglies on the tube, and scoring the latest mall fashion for the outside and inside of their bodies (Nikes/pot/beer/latte). Oddly (I can't believe I'm defending this) it is that basic self-interest that keeps most yahoos out of the power seat for any length of time. We're not idealists, we're pragmatists. Yankee know-how. We KNOW HOW to make money (and damn good movies). And that involves not jacking with the Constitution, among other things. People clamor on to these shores looking for the big score, or, more modestly, for the tube, the jigglies, and the opportunity to turn a promise of three squares into four. And, o yes, for that blowzy American pop culture everybody loves to hate and copies nonetheless. But there is poverty here, not just spiritual and intellectual (thanks for the tip). And, god knows, women and children of the poor suffer immensely. But the Constitution ain't got nothing to do with that. (Hell, on paper the Soviet Union's constitution looked good.) Our Constitution is more about what it DOESN'T say. The less government the better, said Mr. Jefferson. Knowing the history of governments, I must agree. But the multinationals are an issue of grave concern to the environment (without one, we're all screwed) and to liberties (no money, no liberty--unless you're a saint or a bum, and those are really romantic notions), much more so than the American Constitution. (And, BTW, in this country it is mostly right-wingers who want to change the Constitution. They want to tighten up those ungainly loopholes you point out. Tight ship, trains on time, yadda-yadda. I mean, do you REALLY want an efficient government. Now THAT's scary. A compassionate government, yes. But when was the last time you saw one of those? And the first time? Right.) There are certainly issues that need to be addressed. Mississippi--not Tennessee or wherever--and the Star of David prohibition is causing a stir. Hell, Mississippi itself is a problem. But, trust me (watch yer lover and yer wallet) Falwell is a joke. As a Southerner I can tell you that the religious right will have a hard time obtaining or keeping power in this country because they really can't keep their knickers up long enough. (Bill Clinton is a Southern Baptist--a good one.) Besides, for every old blue-haired Falwellite, there are a dozen guys and girls who want their MTV. Never underestimate the power of pop. And pop is not gonna be an effective tool of the fascists. "This guitar kills fascists."--Woody Guthrie What does pop have to do with the U.S. Constitution? As much as Falwell does. More, because popsters celebrate liberty. Loose liberty. Libertine liberty. Yes, that can be a problem. But give me some chaos and the everyday order can survive. A lot of order and creativity and life are goners. A weak America? Well, one day it's bound to happen. What the Constitution has to do with it is questionable. (NATO's war on the Balkans? Bill Gates copyrights the thing?) Who will fill the void if Uncle Sam dodders off to third-worldsville? Somebody. Somebody with a pop sensibility, eh? The Aussies?
Pass me another, mate. When is Seinfeld on? As Tigger sez, TTFN
Ric (Chapping yer ass fer th' benefit of yer Soul--don't you just hate salvationists?)
: 0))) Keep it light.
From Robert P., Westminster, MD, USA:
Rod:
Thought you'd find this amusing, in a bizarre way.
--Bob
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From: PMHale1@aol.com
To: creativity@egroups.com
Subject: [creativity] A racist quiz
Date: Thu, Sep 9, 1999, 8:57 AM
Are you a racist quiz?
This quiz is geared towards white persons who question whether they have a little bit of racist in them. Answer the questions below and score yourself at the end of the quiz to see where you stand in regards to race.
1. When you go to a restaurant and you are told to seat yourself, do you:
a. try to find a seat by some white people
b. try to find a seat by some black people
c. donĖt think about it.
2. If you had to choose between neighborhoods, would you rather live in:
a. a fancy white neighborhood.
b. a fancy black neighborhood
c. a neighborhood that has the same proportion of whites, blacks, and asians?
3. When your kids grow up and start dating, do you want them to date:
a. a black person
b. a white person
c. doesnĖt matter
4. When you walk down a street at night and you run into a crowd of black youths, do you:
a. try not to think about it
b. thank God that you live in such a diverse neighborhood
c. fear for your life and reach for your mace
5. When a black male knocks on your door and tries to sell you something:
a. you see it as an opportunity to get to know a black person
b. you slam the door on his face
c. you talk but in the back of your mind you are worried that he may be casing
you out.
6. When you see a riot on TV where white people are getting hurt and killed do
you:
a. tell yourself, they got what they deserved.
b. wish you could drive down there and shoot the perpetrators
c. change the channel and watch something else?
7. When you drive through an area that used to be white but is now hispanic or
black, do you:
a. feel good inside because the area has become diverse
b. drive past it and think about something else
c. feel resentment because you feel like an alien in your own land
8. When you accidentaly hear or read a racist speech, you:
a. kind of agree with it and wish more people would feel the same way
b. change the channel and think about something else
c. you become very upset and decide to call the station to complain
9. You hear on the radio that President Clinton decided to allow a million more Hispanics and Haitians to legally enter the United States.
a. youĖre happy because we will have more diversity in this country
b. youĖre concerned because there are already enough of those people in our streets.
c. you donĖt even give it a second thought because you just donĖt care.
10. You see a beautiful blonde woman walking hand in hand and kissing a black
male. Do you:
a. feel happy to see an interracial couple in love
b. you just donĖt care
c. feel hatred and resentment and wish you could break them up
Scoring:
Question 1: if you answered a, give yourself 9 points;If you answered b, give
yourself 1 point; If you answered c, give yourself 4 points.
Question 2: if you answered a, give yourself 9 points;If you answered b, give yourself 1 point; If you answered c, give yourself 4 points.
Question 3: if you answered a, give yourself 1 point;If you answered b, give yourself 9 points; If you answered c, give yourself 4 points.
Question 4: if you answered a, give yourself 4 points;If you answered b, give yourself 1 point; If you answered c, give yourself 9 points.
Question 5: if you answered a, give yourself 1 point;If you answered b, give yourself 9 points; If you answered c, give yourself 4 points.
Question 6: if you answered a, give yourself 1 point;If you answered b, give yourself 9 points; If you answered c, give yourself 4 points.
Question 7: if you answered a, give yourself 1 point;If you answered b, give yourself 4 points; If you answered c, give yourself 9 points.
Question 8: if you answered a, give yourself 9 points;If you answered b, give yourself 4 points; If you answered c, give yourself 1 point
Question 9: if you answered a, give yourself 1 point;If you answered b, give yourself 9 points; If you answered c, give yourself 4 points.
Question 10: if you answered a, give yourself 1 point;If you answered b, give yourself 4 points; If you answered c, give yourself 9 point
How do you rate:
If you scored between 10 and 30, it means you were born the wrong color. You should rent a nice little apartment right in the middle of Harlem or Watts.
If you scored between 30 and 60, then you are a real left wing liberal brainwashed by the Jewish controlled media into believing that all races are equal.
If you scored between 60 and 90, you belong to an elite group of white man and
women who care about their children and their neighborhoods and their race. And who should act now before the situation becomes critical. Contact pmhale1@aol.org for more information.
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